We all know one. A whiner. Someone that manages to whine about nothing of real importance, incessantly.
Or, maybe it’s you? Could you be a whiner? Maybe whining is such a normal part of your day that you don’t even notice you are doing it. With every breath, a negative thought creeps into consciousness. You carry them with you all day like a heavy bag that you think you need. It can change – you might whine about the weather, work, traffic, your boyfriend… It doesn’t matter the topic, maybe you just see, feel and hear the crap in everything?
It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I was a whiner, too. We’ve been conditioned this way. Instead of being encouraged to embrace the positives – to live with gratitude, to shine, smile and sing – we mutter and mumble about everything and anything. It’s self-sabotage, even if we don’t realize it. We bring ourselves down a notch. We try not to sparkle, because we think if we do that makes us “full of ourselves.” We see the worst in everything, because that’s auto-pilot mode. It’s easier than being happy, because happiness takes work. Or, maybe we just never learned how to see the glass half full. Either way, it’s not healthy and it doesn’t serve anyone.
So, why should we ease up on the whining?
1) It’s annoying. For anyone in your presence, it can’t be fun to listen to you moan about the weather.
2) What goes around comes around. I know one particular whiner who seems to be followed by a bad luck cloud. Maybe because that’s all she puts out into the universe. Like attracts like. Be careful what you whine for!
3) You have nothing to whine about. Really, how good is your life? Probably awesome. Despite the bad weather, your flat tire, the rude salesperson, a cold, no new clothes… You’ve got it good – focus on that instead.
4) Unhappy people move in packs. Whiners attract one another.
It’s all well and good to understand the why, but we can’t get stuck there. Moving forward! Here’s how to stop…
1) Start your day with a positive mantra. “Today I see the positive in everything and everyone and I enjoy every moment of my day.” Say it to yourself as soon as you rise and as often as you can. Do this enough, and you’ll eventually start to believe it and act it.
2) Find the silver lining. Look for it in every circumstance, and then focus on that. You tire is flat… yep, that sucks. But, did you learn how to change a tire for the first time ever? Awesome.
3) Write a gratitude list. Go home every night and write down ten things from your day that you are grateful for. Forget the rest. It’s not worth the energy.
4) Evaluate the situation. If you can change the situation or problem that is causing you to whine, then do it! If you can’t change it, then leave it. If none of the above applies, then simply face up to whatever is bugging you and accept it!
Clear the air around you and the energy within you. Detox from whining, moaning and complaining. Whether you are internalizing it or outwardly sharing it, there is no value in it.
image via artzthings