I used to spend countless hours, days and nights worrying. Insomnia was my companion for many, many years with various dialogues that sounded like, “I hope that hot looking guy is going to ask me out on a date... I can’t believe my colleague made that ignorant remark... My boss better not complain about the task I performed today... If I don’t get some sleep, I’m going to be in a bad mood tomorrow... ”
It almost sounds crazy, but it was my normal. I had a difficult time letting go of what people said or did, because I took it personally. So, I was always on edge and ready for a confrontation.
Needless to say, I was not a happy person and acted passive-aggressively. How could anyone hear me when I’d either bottle up my feelings, or I would go to the extreme and react neurotically?
This behavior, I learned, was not a very effective way of communicating.
“When you know better, you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou
1. No one is a mind-reader. Speak up if you disagree, get offended or even upset. It’s okay to express yourself, as long as it’s with integrity.
2. Narrate a better story, because dwelling on the past doesn’t miraculously change it. I spent years in therapy trying to overcome my dysfunctional background.
3. Write it, type it or draw it. Just get whatever it is that’s bothering you out of your head. Whatever method you choose, it can be extremely therapeutic.
4. Wake-up early and meditate. You’ll feel calm and ready to cope with your day.
6. Saying positive affirmations such as, “I am at peace in my life,” and, “I deserve to be happy,” is an effective way to alleviate the negative chatter.
Make the above daily habits, and you’ll be well on your way to increasing your inner calm. What do you think? Do you have any other suggestions to add to the list?
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