Dealing with any kind of change can be scary. Even small changes like going to a new hairdresser can be nerve wracking; is she going to chop all my hair off and make me look like a character out of Les Miserables? Buying a new brand of coffee can make or break your whole week. It may be $2 less for a pound, but is it going to taste good and how will I deal with watery tasting coffee at 6 am when I REALLY need some good coffee?
These are just minor anxieties. The real fear kicks in when making major life changes.
I have learned ways to deal with change over the years, ways to stay grounded and to handle all the stress. I have also made every mistake you can think of when it comes to remaining calm and centered. In order to spare you all the grief and hardship I have suffered from my inappropriate responses to change, I have put together a list of ways NOT to respond to change.
1. Do not stay up late drinking wine and crying over all your fears. This leads to headaches and puffy red-eyes the next day. Not a good job interviewing look.
2. Do not bury your head in a book and ignore the real world all day long. Your children and pets have to eat and need your attention.
3. Do not eat entire bags of Doritos or Cheezits or Tostitos or Pita Chips. The salt and crunch may feel great going down, but you will puff up into a chipmunk monster, and all your rings will be too tight.
4. Do not get out photos and letters from friends in your far off old hometown and moon over the fact that you have no friends. That will pretty much guarantee you will not make new friends. No one wants to hang out with Eeyore.
5. Do not bite your nails or shake your foot up and down in an abundance of nervous energy. These actions can easily become really annoying habits that are hard to break.
There are a multitude of ways you can respond to change, some of them helpful and some of them not so great. Changes will occur whether you decide to like them or resist them. Try to relax and give yourself a break. Realize that you can’t control every aspect of your life, and sometimes you just have to wait, absorb and immerse yourself in the change. You will be fine, and you can handle this. Help will come from unexpected places. Just be sure to keep your eyes open, and be willing to say yes. A glass of wine or a hot cup of tea CAN be a good relaxer, but it’s even better if you invite a new friend over to join you.