Today while trying to pack for a trip, meditate, take care of my dog and a list of other things, instead of doing what I should have been doing which was all of that, I found myself on Facebook and reading other people’s blogs and getting down on myself for all of what I had not done and how far a head other people are than me.
It was a terrible cycle that I sometimes find myself in, but much less than I used to. But when it crept up today out of no where, I found myself riding that wave of “you’re not doing enough, you can’t keep up, do more.” I felt low and began to think about other things I had not done that I have been wanting to accomplish. Consequently, that feeling did not inspire me to do anything, but sit with my guilt at having not done anything!! It was a viscous cycle that luckily only lasted 20-30 min. before I snapped out of it and said Enough! Then I remembered something my teacher said...
“Instead of thinking about what you didn’t do, start thinking about what you have done.”
Thank you Harijiwan for entering my mind in that minute and commanding my attention out of my self-deprecating doom. I began to think of all the things I have done and that I am currently doing. All the meditations, all the writing, all the introspection, all the learning of ancient teachings, all the reading, all the yoga, etc. I do a lot! Ok, I began to feel better about my state of being! Be proud of yourself for what you are doing on a daily basis.
How often do we let our negative/critical minds run wild with all the “Your Not Good Enough’s,” “You Don’t Do Enough’s,” “So and So is Better Than You,” “Do More, More, More,” and even more, “because you will never be enough Just As You Are?” Then the self-doubt creeps in and before you know it the day has gone by and you feel terrible!?!
We let that critical mind run so wild that we are tired, negative, depressed and sad. In one word...Unhappy.
We were not meant to feel this way. We picked up some program along the way that says “you are not good enough.” The good news is that we can turn that program off and switch to a different channel.
We can switch to the channel that reminds us to think about what we did do, instead of what we didn’t. A channel that reminds us that we are beautiful, bountiful and blissful. A channel that reminds us that our inherit birthright is to be in joy. Period.
Switch your channel and allow yourself to be free! Have a personal mantra that you say several times a day. I AM peaceful is a good one, or I AM joyful. Sat Nam is a very powerful, thousands of years old mantra that means "Truth is My Identity." I chant this mantra throughout my day to keep me uplifted.
Pick one thing to take out of your life that is not serving your highest and best good and then pick one thing to add in that does serve it. But don't become your own worst enemy. The world is tough enough, be good to yourself. Love yourself more today than you did yesterday.
What you say and what you think creates your world, so begin to speak in the positive and think that way. When you find yourself going off on the self-deprecating doom ride begin to repeat your personal mantra. Remind yourself that you are light, creativity and furthermore...Amazing just as you are.
We are here. This is a ride. We might as well enjoy it while it lasts.