How much love you feel for another says everything about the love you are able to give to yourself. We can only see the qualities in others that exist within us. Other people are merely yourself reflected.
All of life is reflected like a mirror. All we can do is to love ourselves, and through loving ourselves, love the experience of others.
This all boils down to one immeasurable fact – the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have.
In loving yourself, you are able to bring those qualities to your relationship with another. In a romantic context, this means the intensity of the feeling of bonding can expand in a healthy way. Yet love and bonding has a shadow side beyond the romantic hyperbole.
Love’s shadow can include a sense of entitlement. “I love you” can become “I own you.”
Through a variety of influences from society, media and family, we engage with others using the love languages we have developed. These love languages etched in symbology are rich in meaning about how we think about ourselves. For instance a nagging appeal to love - “you know I love you” - can feel empty because it lacks the substance of a substantial relationship with God / Source.
How do you use the term “I love you?”
Below are the 10 shadow languages of love: