“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you.” - Tony Robbins
When I am training up young people who are interested in starting their own business, I always cover the subject of behavior and attitude because depending on your attitude will depend on your success.
To be successful isn’t down to one thing, it’s made up of many things but fundamentally about displaying the right attitude, self belief and determination. It’s about staring fear in the face and pushing yourself through the challenges and pain. It’s about being able to take rejection and look past people’s opinions even if you feel obliged to listen to them.
You may have found that in the past people have responded to you in a particular way when you speak of an idea to do something or take action in some way. If these people are your closest friends or family, it can be really difficult to ignore their advice and opinions, especially if they have your best interests at heart. Unfortunately people’s opinions are very much based on their own experience and reality, but the error here is that what didn’t work for one person doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t work for another. Taking the decision to go about things regardless is both brave and important.
We all have to make mistakes to learn new things. I remember when I first started out in my career, I would be mortified if I made a mistake, as I was often working with very senior managers and the embarrassment would be enough to ensure that I didn’t do it again! On reflection, I think about how many mistakes I have made, people I have may have offended, people who have upset and offended me; but the learnings from these scenarios were all critical to my own growth and allowed me to be far more empathetic as the Line Manager of a team and certainly working with young people.
Essentially your attitude shapes your future outcomes. If you have a desire to do something and find yourself constantly talking about it but you still haven’t achieved it yet, you need to find out why. Is it something you really want or is it something which someone else wants? In order to move towards your desires and wants, you have to own the decision, be congruent, and there has to be enough leverage for you to make the change.
Here are some typical examples of success sabotage: