Everyone longs for love. There are hundreds of love songs on the radio. Romantic novels comprise entire book stacks at bookstores and libraries. Romantic comedies and epic love stories draw big box office dollars every year. We read self- help books and listen to relationship experts who tell us we can manifest our soul mate by getting specific and writing down exactly what we want in a lover. We are told our desires will attract that person into our life.
The line in the movie Jerry McGuire, “you complete me” was repeated and sighed over by many. This line exemplifies our idea of romantic connection, synergy and two souls coming together to make one complete connection.
But, we’ve got it all backwards. We can’t ever find happiness and completion from outside ourselves. Peace, love, contentment, connection, and completeness come from within. In all of our longing, listening to songs and reading of books where do we ask ourselves what WE bring to the relationship? When do we imagine bringing out the best in another, bringing THEM happiness and joy? Our vision boards and romantic lists are all very one-sided- what can this perfect lover do for me?
Let’s try reversing the roles. For this I will create an example using Maggie and Dave. Maggie has written out her list of qualities she longs for and has manifested Dave. Her list looked like this: