There are many myths regarding what stimulates sexual desire, from a variety of foods being purported to do the trick, the age old liquid courage touted by alcohol enthusiasts, and a number of activities, ceremonies and behaviors one can engage in to get things moving in the right direction.
While many seem to be falling under the placebo effect, some seem to be fleeting trends and other appear to fall under the guise of superstition. Tips from standard magazines will try to convince you how to style and cloak yourself to reel in your mate, accompanied later by suggestions on how to keep that mate.
For real life purposes and for long lasting satisfaction human beings require genuine chemistry, a love of self first, a respect and appreciation for the human body, and a consistently open mind and heart. All happen to be gifts bestowed upon us through the vast beauty that is yoga, the only aphrodisiac you'll ever need.
Regardless how well any of us were raised, once we become adults and the masters of our own ship, we then decide who we want to be and how we wish to operate in this world. It is difficult to overcome any negative experiences of love, sex and relationships we encountered as children and young adults. We feel doomed to repeat those mistakes and/or often recuse ourselves from the game altogether to prevent that from ever happening. What yoga instills is a profound understanding that we are not our past, our parents’ mistakes, our broken hearts, or our unfortunate memories. We should absolutely absorb the lessons of those events but then free ourselves from the prison that is dwelling and defining ourselves by that fraction of time. We learn to let go of the expectations of others, including loved ones, stop seeing ourselves as a list of qualifications that need to fit into a puzzle of someone else’s. We measure ourselves less by being good on paper and more by being goodness itself, in tune with a kind heart, a fallible but fascinating mind, and a miraculous machine that is our bodies. And by letting go of the list of standards and labels that must be met in order to connect with another human being, we tap into a higher level of consciousness that is necessary in real chemistry.
From birth we are bombarded with the opinions and social norms dictated by a superficial standard of beauty and gender stereotypes. With many growing up in homes, schools and towns that discourage the connection and appreciation of the body, particularly your own, you’re left identifying yourself by your height, weight, hair style, skin tone, muscular and bone structure, and symmetry. And the packaging of this body as well. Very little emphasizes how you feel inside, the strength you carry, your very powerful and intuitive heart, the development of all aspects of your mind beyond intellect and memory, god forbid the sheer magic that is a seasoned, quality breath, and certainly not the sensual, pleasurable experiences within sexuality. Cut to practicing yoga. Imagine a much more down to earth approach to the stereotypical 14 hour sex we hear about Sting having. You practice and become heightened, in awareness, in sensation. You listen better, discover more, think less and feel more intently. Suddenly how your body looks is secondary and it how functions and feels is primary.
The human body has evolved into an incredible, mysterious house of consciousness. In yoga we embody acceptance of who and what we are, in this moment, finding reverence for our nuances and flaws. We also turn up the volume inside, paying closer attention to what our bodies are telling us on and off the mat, how to prevent injury and illness and how best to nourish, treat and move our bodies now. This increased intelligence makes for better sleep, more energy and more lasting confidence, because the appreciation for all that we are beyond vanity and description takes precedence over something as meaningless as inches, pounds, or opinions. Instead of deriving confidence from fitting into certain sizes, from the compliments of others, or from conforming to the same mold so many others do, you access sincere assurance and the courage to be exactly who you are no matter what the external circumstances.
When you take better care of yourself, you feel better; whether you look better is superfluous. You are better. You know this, feels this, exude this, and therefore attract this back to yourself. Body image is huge. Realizing we are far more than what meets the eye is freeing, and no matter what the scale says, you will be lighter. So what if I’ve had three amazing cookies and I don’t have makeup on and I may be close to needing a shave. The primal bond and collision of consciousness between two human beings on the same wavelength is a beautiful, cosmic thing, above and beyond anything superficiality can touch. All that is meant to be savored in life can only truly be experienced Now.
So yoga brings an intensified union with our bodies. We’re able to move more intuitively, gracefully and more importantly, gratefully. And with this acceptance and respect, the mind is also freed to operate out of instinct, out of stillness, silence and presence, over thought, anticipation or preconceived notions. You succumb to the intelligence of the heart, the gut and the soul and merely use your mind as a tool, letting go of definitions and expectations, letting life be lived, opening the door for authentic love to take residence permanently in your being. With the love of self in tact, the love of another becomes a phenomenal opportunity to be your best self with someone else, to give all that you are without pretense and to experience the music that is two souls colliding. Love is so much more intelligent than vanity, than shallow views of beauty, than trends, than anything transient, anything fleeting. Which happens to be everything besides your essence, your heart, your specific breath, your unique intelligence. Yoga invites you to be more plugged in, to everything that is naturally incredible just by virtue of being alive. Sex is a gift we’re all born to experience. The joy in it belongs to you and you alone. Let love be love.
Break yourself open to the fullness that is living now and your soul will become alive with the vibration of Yoga. Your heart will beat to the pulse of the universe. Your body will feel electric, present and strong. You’ll operate from being and use thought as a useful device rather than an identity. You’ll feel compassion and connected to all that is living in the universe and made still by the enormous spaciousness that surrounds all that is known. Living in truth, beyond what words can comprehend, only to be experienced, an energetic cycle with no end. Enjoy the fruits that encompass your existence. Emanate joy, passion and love and marvel at the oneness we all possess.