Words cannot do justice to motherhood; to the trials and tribulations, the joy and heart expansion that comes with it. Motherhood is a part of life that needs to be experienced in order to be fully understood, and even then, it is difficult to fully realize the breadth of this gift.
I have given birth to two daughters; drug-free, full on labor and delivery... Through this process I gained an entirely new respect for women everywhere. The fact that our bodies are capable of such feats of awe inspired strength and action is profound!
No one said that it would be easy – but, at the same time, no one ever said how F’in hard it would be either. There’s almost this unspoken rule about not disclosing too much about what exactly it all entails...this, I suspect is for a few reasons:
- The mom doing the disclosing would then be admitting to the insane difficulty and in so doing, demonstrating weakness. Something that mothers in general have a hard time doing.
- Saying this out loud has the potential of melting away this façade of motherhood as some beautiful experience that comes naturally to all women... As though we have built in manuals and handbooks to guide us through each step. Let me tell you, there is no handbook. There are no manuals. This is a fly by the seat of your snot smeared, drool covered pants kind of experience. Every woman for herself…
- It is impossible to explain in words and would take far too much effort and energy – of which mothers have very few reserves and so, it simply goes unsaid. Every mother for herself, once again.
Yes, motherhood is difficult. For me motherhood has been full of doubt, guilt, uncertainty and continual confrontation – our children provide the biggest mirrors for ourselves and our own sh%4. Motherhood is at times thankless, yet fulfilling beyond measure. I would not trade it for all of the riches in the world. The richness that comes with holding your new born in your arms for the very first time, or when that small warm hand reaches for yours as you cross the street is beyond measure.
My girls have provided me with so much insight, wisdom and with so many gifts that I cannot begin to express the sea change that motherhood caused in me and continues to on a daily basis.
Carrying the responsibility of being a mother can cause us to lose sight of the fact that we are still simply women, trying to figure this journey of life out as we go. We too were once children, we too have, or had mothers to which we clung (or at least wanted to). We, as mothers can be terribly hard on ourselves, wanting to provide the best for our children; to do everything right. Yet, most often we don’t really even know what ‘right’ is. And so it goes.
This Mother’s Day – if you are a mother, please be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can in this moment and if there is something you would like to do better, commit to doing so, and yet be kind as you continue through the process of growth and learning. If you are not a mother, but have one in your life, why not give her a hug and say thank you for giving of herself as a mother, as a human being…
Happy Mother’s Day. Namaste