The first line in A Course in Miracles reads, “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle.” How far is the reach of this statement and how personally do we take it?
One area I personally experience this challenge, is when others judge me.
What if I changed my perception and became more certain of myself and accepted myself as an entirety. I am not perfect yet my essence is good. My intention is love. Where I see imperfections in myself, I am judgmental - sometimes relentlessly so. Is it a surprise that others would judge me too?
"Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep." — James Blanchard
The external subconsciously picks up on what we put out – the natural system has to follow the implicit order that what is reflected outside mirrors what is inside of us. Perhaps if I face my shadow and accept myself in my entirety – warts and all – without shame or guilt – then I would be liberated, if liberation is what I seek?
One of the areas this shows up a lot for myself is in body love, body function love, and sexual function love. It is easy to speak about love – actually doing it is much harder. I've spoken before about confronting oneself naked in the mirror – and loving what is. Yet how often have I actually done it myself? Lately, I haven't been working out much, and when I look in the mirror, I compare myself to what I looked like a couple of months back, and see something ugly.
It's easy to feel good about yourself when your body feels in tune, and balanced. What if you're sick or worse, debilitated? Then loving yourself becomes challenging and the gifts that your body usually gives you are less pronounced.
I also find it easy to find imperfections with the world and get angry and upset about it. There is a lot of noise out there. I can easily feel victimized by life. I know I have a lot to contribute to the world, yet when I go out there, I often feel uneasy. When I apply for jobs, I'm often met with little or no response. A lot of us have these experiences, not just me. It is easy to conclude that the world is a harsh and unloving place, and get frustrated.
So how does one become empowered and live at the cause and not the effect? I believe there are many answers – and it's key to be aware that you may not be able to change the world. Yet always you can change yourself and the way you choose to see the world.
If nothing else, you can learn from your experiences. You can acknowledge that sometimes we need to reach the depths before we climb ourselves out. When there is no rain forest left, will the birds still sing?
If we create the world, then we should always look within for answers. When we see something outside of us in the world, ask what is it telling us about who we are?
If someone judges us, we are judging ourselves. If someone rejects us, we are rejecting ourselves. If we want to experience love, then it is a state that we create through loving ourself and our experience. The world presents a mirror. These lessons are not easy to accept. It's easier to blame others. I do it often. Now I promise myself to ask, “How did I create this – and how can I heal that part of me inside that created that?”
We can always expand our hearts and expand our love. Love is endless...All it requires is choosing it – choose love over war, love over anger, love over retaliation.
“Unless we view things with our heart, we can see nothing.” — Daisaku Ikeda
When we have a grievance, how do we choose to react?
Perhaps it's easier as a free spirit to grapple with these questions as we grow and age. Time is always moving, and life always changing. We each have a place in existence – everyone has something to appreciate. Gandhi provides an answer that really touches me deeply - "My life is my message."
The biggest commitment we can make is to value ourself.
I choose the miracle!