In the last month, a few things have happened in my life...caused by my own thoughts my own words and (100%) my own actions. And to be candid, I'm not really that happy with how things went down. In fact the scenarios I’m referring to went totally off-script, and into territories that actually cause me to question how well I know myself. How’s that for start to 2012?
As I obsessively replay the situations in my head, the whole “I should have done X” and “if only I had done Y” train of thought has taken over a disproportionally large share of my brain and is weighing me down like crazy. Any of this resonating with you guys (or am I crazy)?
Another really uncomfortable thought is that comes to mind is, “What does this mean about me? Am I really that kind of person? But I thought I was a totally different sort of person.“ If you’re reading MBG, there’s a good chance you’re a spiritual seeker. You think about the world, your place in it, and probably about how you can contribute in some positive way. Maybe, if you’re like me, you think about how you can improve and do better.
But what if you mess up, or feel like you messed up (no difference to your brain, btw)? How are you supposed to get out of the energetic rabbit hole into which you’ve fallen? Spending time down there is not going to help you or anyone else—and it’s easy to get stuck for quite a while. And that, by the way, really sucks because reliving past mistakes is not cathartic, productive, and we all know it won’t change anything.
Well, there are probably countless teachings and practices that address this issue but I’m just going to share the one that helped me. It’s a passage from writer/philosopher Paulo Coehlo’s book called the Warrior of the Light. I hope it resonates with you like it does with me.
Every Warrior of the Light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light has said ‘yes’ when he wanted to say ‘no.’
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone he loved.
That is why he is a Warrior of the Light, because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.