Need a Partner? Find Your Self
All this hype about Valentine's day seems to heighten the social convention that dictates the need to have someone, otherwise there's something wrong with you. I'm very much against the idea behind this day, not only because it seems you can only enjoy it if you're in a romantic relationship but also because apparently this is the day you get to celebrate your relationship, so I'm not quite sure what we're supposed to do with all the other days of the year. If you would like to have someone for Valentine's day, otherwise you feel it's just a wasted day, try to find yourself first. Unveil who you are and rejoice in your own company. Here's how.
Spend time with yourself. No, sitting on the couch watching television doesn't count. For this purpose, the ideal circumstance would be complete silence. Don't call this meditation if you don't want to. Just sit in silence. In fact, go outside. Sit in a park, or somewhere nice and just be there, you can watch your surroundings, enjoy the fresh air. But observe the things you focus your attention on. What are the things that grab your senses? Be there with yourself and explore your thoughts and feelings.
Dance. No need to go all professional. Choose a playlist, an album, or just a song that makes your heart shine and dance. Dance like no one's watching. Even better: make sure that no one's watching and express yourself completely. If your expression is just remaining still, or just moving very slowly, that's perfect. This is your time, this is your expression, so it's perfect just the way it is. Then reflect on how you feel. Whatever it is that you do and feel, show kindness towards yourself.
Journal. You can actual write about what you felt when you were spending time alone or about your dance experience. You can reflect on your day, a special situation... You can write about anything. If you have time, just grab a piece of paper and a pen and write a sentence, any sentence, you don't need to know what you're going to write about, just let the thoughts and words come naturally to the surface and write them down. You might be really surprised at the things you end up writing.
Learn something new. We all have something we always wanted to know. So go sign up for those cooking or painting classes you're always dreaming about. Go find new ways to express yourself and the way you see life. Make your life an artistic expression of who you truly are. Yes, cooking can be an artistic expression and knitting and whatever pleases you. Challenge yourself and feel a sense of accomplishment. The Universe is rooting for you, believe that.
Pamper yourself. Get yourself chocolates, prepare a soothing bubble bath, enjoy a nice dinner and all other Valentine's day clichés you can thing of. Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first is not being selfish. You're actually working towards being a better person for everyone else. If you take good care of yourself - and this includes some basic things like eating well and sleeping - you will experience a mood boost and that will reflect on the way you behave with other people.
Reach out. If being alone and enjoying your own company does not suit your personality, go out with your friends and have fun Or call them for a nice dinner at home and some lame comedy. Host a family gathering, or go out with co-workers (the nice ones!). Laugh - a lot - in the company of good people, people who inspire you, who support you, who make you feel good about yourself. Remember that you don't really need a partner, you already have within you everything you need to be happy. Ideally, a relationship will only be an extension of that happiness. You don't need someone, you choose to be with someone.
So if you find yourself alone on this Valentine's day, don't mull over it, be your own Valentine. And by the way, this is valid for every day of the year and not just Valentine's day.
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