Receiving Can Feel as Good as Giving
I can remember as a girl being told that it was better to give then receive. In most ways I agree with this philosophy except when you do it to the point of trying to be super human and an “I got it” kind of person. Never to alienate men, but this inherently seems to be more of a female characteristic.
For me I think it took almost ten years to allow myself to receive help, (for the kids, house, or even financial) from my husband. Having children brought me to drink from the trough of help sooner. How about if a friend or even someone of the other sex just wants to do something nice for you? Why is that so hard to accept? I’m trying to learn how to say “yes” more often, and just be grateful and enjoy receiving.
The other no-no is keeping score. Just because someone wants to do something nice for you, you then don’t have to do four things back in return.
I heard one of the great theories about why some of us don’t want to receive. When you give it’s from you going out. However, when you receive it’s someone coming into your space and then maybe having the opportunities to linger there a bit. By “doing it all” and giving giving giving you can actually keep people at bay and away. There is something intimate about receiving. You can’t just drop off the goods and go.
Your husband wants to watch the kids? Boyfriend wants to spoil you? A friend wants to run an errand for you since she’s headed that way any way? Kids want to clean up? A stranger is asking if you need a hand with a bag of groceries? Just say yes please, and thank you. It’s OK to allow others to do for you. It doesn’t make you less of a person or a failure somehow.