Q & A with Arielle Ford, Best-Selling Author of The Soulmate Secret: What's a Soulmate and How You Can Find Yours!
Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life? Is it your dream to find a life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you? Then talk to Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret.
Arielle Ford knows that finding true love is possible for anyone at any age if you’re willing to prepare yourself, on all levels, to become a magnet for love. Arielle used the techniques in her book to bring her soulmate, Brian Hilliard, into her life at age forty-four. They were engaged three weeks later.
MindBodyGreen: How do you start your day?
Arielle Ford: Every morning at 7:30 Brian (my husband) and I go for a long walk through our neighborhood. We talk about the dreams we had, our plans for the day, and enjoy the beauty of the morning. We also like to stop and play with and pet every dog we see along the way.
MBG: Can you briefly define soulmate?
AF: I believe a soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself. Someone you love unconditionally, and who loves you unconditionally, and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being at “home.”
MBG: What’s the first step we need to take when we decide we want to meet our soulmate?
AF: I believe that forgiveness is the first step. We must forgive ourselves for anything we believe we have done wrong in our past relationships. And then, we must forgive those we feel have hurt us. The manifestation prayers, rituals, tools and techniques in The Soulmate Secret are very powerful. If we begin manifesting on top of the unhealed past we are likely to create more of what we created in the past.
MBG: For those who haven’t read your book, can you provide a brief example of "feelingizations" and why are they so important?
AF: While many people know these as "visualizations," I have renamed them "feelingizations" because they don’t work without strong emotion behind them. In order to manifest our desires we need to feel that what we have asked for is already ours. It’s the feeling not the image that holds the power to attract. You can try them out for free by visiting my website.
MBG: What are some of the most common mistakes that we make in trying to attract our Soulmate?
AF: It’s really hard to generalize but if I had to choose one thing that shows up often it is that people sometimes try to manifest a soulmate when they have an overriding belief that it’s not possible, they don’t deserve love, that they are too something (old, fat, broke, damaged, etc). It’s hard for the Universe to deliver the love of your life too you when you are sending mixed signals. I am a very big believer in therapy and coaches. If you have a negative feedback look around relationship, seek out someone qualified to help you before beginning the manifestation process.
MBG: What’s the biggest misconception about finding our Soulmate?
AF: I don’t know who started the awful rumor that we only get one big love in each lifetime but it’s just not true!There is the possibility for many soulmates in a lifetime and chances are you ALREADY have several in your life. If you look at my definition of a soulmate then you will see that you may have a best friend, co-worker, or family member that is your soulmate. While The Soulmate Secret is focused on manifesting a romantic soulmate, you should recognize the love you already have. When you put your attention on being grateful for the love that is already in your life you immediately attract MORE love into your life.
MBG: What advice do you have for someone when thoughts of a former lover come up? What about a former lover who’s done you wrong?
AF: Make a list of the ex-lovers with whom you feel incomplete toward or whom you are still harboring negative feelings. Write a letter to each of them that expresses all the things you wish had turned out differently. You need not ever mail this letter but give yourself full permission to say what you want to say. In this letter tell them what you need from them to make things right. At the same time, take responsibility for your role in what went wrong.After you’ve written the letter, read it out loud to yourself and allow any remaining anger or resentment to move through you. Then give yourself permission to forgive them and forgive yourself so that you can move on.
MBG: Any tips for creating space/energy in our homes to attract our soulmate?
AF: There are many things you can do to prepare your home for a soulmate. I am a big believer in feng shui and the first rule of feng shui is to clear out the clutter. Then you want to clear the energy of past loves from your home. You can hire a professional energy worker to do this or you can do it yourself by utilizing the native American technique called smudging. Next you want to physically create space. This means making sure that at least one drawer in your dresser is completely empty and that the nightstand on “their” side of the bed is completely empty. This sends a message to the Universe that you literally have space in your life for another. (And even if you think you will never, never live in your current home with your soulmate, you need to do it anyway.)
MBG: Any tips/thoughts on figuring out if the person we are dating is "the one"?
AF: Don’t try to decide on the first date or even in the first month if someone is "the one." Some people may intuitively know it immediately but for many people it’s a gradual process of getting to really know someone, on a very deep level, before coming to understand that they are the one for you. If you have spent a year with someone and you still aren’t sure then it’s possible they aren’t the one for you.
MBG: Favorite quote?
AF: "It’s a both/and world. It’s both the way I say it is AND the way you say it is."
MBG: Favorite guilty indulgence?
AF: I have many! Watching silly reality shows on TV for starters and reading tabloid magazines when we travel.
MBG: What’s the one message that you want to get across in The Soulmate Secret?
AF: That Big Love is possible for anyone at any age if you are willing to invest a little time, energy, intention and attention to your love life. I have tons of proof this process works. It even worked for my 80 year old mother-in-law!
For more on Arielle Ford and The Soulmate Secret: