What's better: being a victim or being selfish? Sounds like a trick question. Often, when I write these entries, I get some comments saying that it's shallow to talk about how bad people can feel when they're out of shape. I’m not talking about an aesthetic. Can someone be overweight and be beautiful and happy? You betcha. Is it generally a little harder on a lot of levels when you’re carrying around a bunch of extra weight? Most likely.

A lot of people get defensive when I talk about someone being “less happy” or “not energized” because they’re overweight. Depression is a clinical condition that needs real medical care. I’m talking about being unhappy because you’re living a sedentary life that includes eating food that would make anyone sad. Oh, and by the way, let’s get rid of the excuses. It’s so easy for people to say, “I can’t. I’m depressed.” That’s bull. Talk to someone who is clinically depressed. That’s a whole other world. Let’s not throw around the word “depressed.” A lot of us are “bummed out” rather than “depressed.”

Very challenging things happen in all our lives (death, sickness, heartache, crazy families, lack of finances and time, etc.). I’m not denying that you may have something intense going on in your life. No, I’m saying lets take charge and fire up to be as strong as we can to deal with all the curve balls life throws us.

This is where being selfish comes in to play. Start taking care of yourself. Don’t sacrifice that for anyone (including your own children). Some days, my daughter comes with me to the gym, and she asks me, “Why do you need to work out?” I tell her it’s so I can stay strong and healthy to be her mom and keep up. There is such a thing as good selfishness — the selfish person who takes full responsibility for their moods and circumstances. In the end, if you are intelligently selfish, you’ll be able to give more.

We’re on this Earth for such a short time. Do we want to spend time blaming everyone and everything for what’s going wrong in our lives? Or do we want to get out there and take control of what we can (i.e., if we eat in a way that serves our good health and move our butts)? There really is so little we control, so why not go for it in a big way and change the things we can? If someone is a jerk to you, forget it. You can just control you. If you are a nice person regardless of what they do, they can’t get the best of you. You are choosing. Make your universe reflect you.

Life deals some people a bad hand, and some of them complain less than people who don’t have half their problems. I’m not trying to be insensitive. I’m merely pointing out that we don’t have any alternatives when it comes to our good health.

If you want someone to hold your hand and B.S. with you, then I’m not your girl. I want to see all of you getting out there and feeling good. There is no quick fix, pill, or shortcut. The formula is simple. Eat for good health, get out there and move, and connect with your own spirit. If you eat perfect and exercise like a fiend but are a miserable soul, you’re missing the mark as well. So which is better: being a victim or being selfish?

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