Want To Try An Open Relationship? 4 Things You Need To Know

Open relationships have been around for centuries, but the way we talk about them (and the fact that we're talking about them at all) is a relatively recent development. Along with the increased openness we now have around sex, there are more people showing interest in alternative relationship styles than in the past.

Open relationships have always resonated with me. I love my freedom and I get bored easily, so being in an open relationship seemed like something I would love. And I do. But along with loving it, there come challenges I couldn't have predicted.

Open relationships trigger many insecurities and deep wounds. You will feel jealous. You will try to control your partner. You will experience it all, because in open relationships we lose what our "inner child" strives for the most—security.

Letting go of attachments and possessiveness is really hard. You will be triggered. You will have a reason to feel upset. Going into open relationships, you have to be aware that you will be faced with challenges that are not as common for exclusive relationships.

The core of sexual tension in a relationship is polarity between the feminine and the masculine. The more we can step into these roles, the smoother the relationship, the better sex and the better everyday interactions.

The masculine wants to lead and the feminine wants to be guided. It's a beautiful dynamic when feminine energy allows itself to be led. In practical terms that can mean taking advice and asking for help. And it works wonders—in a monogamous relationship.

In a relationship where this energy is not equal (e.g. there is one person with more feminine energy and two with masculine energy), this dynamic can disturbed. Inevitably, that feminine energy will feel confused. And that can be very damaging to a relationship.

If you're dating one person exclusively, there is only one person you will have to break up with. But when you start dating more people, you have to break up with more.

This is not to say you WILL break up. But we all know that few relationships last forever. At some point, we part ways, and this is not easy. When you're in an open relationship, you are open to exploring. You'll go on more dates, so you'll experience more rejection—both being rejected and rejecting others.

I'll often meet men I would love to explore a connection with, but I don't. I don't because I anticipate that I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that person, so I don't even want to go on a first date. It saves both of us from dealing with a brushoff later.

This is a very individual matter. Open relationships are not better than monogamous ones. Both types will trigger you, but they will do it in a different way.