Recently, I asked my Facebook friends whether they would have sex on the first date. I received over a hundred responses—roughly a 50/50 ratio of men to women and ranging in age from 25 to over 60. Their reactions were, as expected, varied and based on personal experiences, upbringing, beliefs, and cultural opinions. I was a little bit shocked (because I myself enjoy one-night stands) at how many women said no to sex on the first date while the majority of men said yes.
A few male friends said something like, "If a woman has sex with me on the first date, I think she'll do the same with other men. Men like to chase women. So, if the chase is gone, what's the point?"
A few friends said, "I had sex on the first date and now I'm married with children." But was it meant in a bad way, or are they happy with
What I realized is that there are no right or wrong choices when it comes to relationships, love, and especially sex. Each person's journey
is unique, just like each person. Could you imagine going on date after date and having no variance whatsoever? What would be the purpose of even dating at that point? Just pick someone out of a line-up and hope for the best!
In many cultures, sex and marriage go hand in hand, and sex out of wedlock is frowned upon. I'm not anyone's judge and jury; I'm far too
busy focusing on myself and trying to get laid. Now, let me tell you something, in almost 20 years of being active in the dating world, I have done all sorts of things.
Yes, I've had one-night stands—and yes, the sex was phenomenal! I have also been in long, drawn-out relationships only to have them end in a mind-numbingly average way. I've experienced the whole spectrum and I'm still looking for what works best for me. (I'm going to touch on chemistry and the almighty "spark" in a bit.)