Psalm Isadora is the top tantra expert in the world and a highly sought-after sexuality, relationship, and trauma expert specializing in women’s health and empowerment as well as modern sexual education. In this weekly advice column, Psalm brings her expertise to sexual and relationship issues most people face at one time or another. If you want to ask Psalm your questions (anonymously), email relationships@mindbodygreen.com.

Question:

I am a 49-year-old woman and have a wonderful sex life with my partner. I have never had the desire to be with a woman. I was directed to a website that has women having sex together and found that I get extremely turned on—especially by the oral between the two—and reach orgasm every time. Is this normal?

First of all, you're 49 years old and you have a fantastic sex life with your partner. Good for you! You're already way ahead of the game. And it sounds like your sex life is expanding the older you get. By writing in and asking this question, you are helping to defeat the common misconception that women become less sexual as we age. That is simply not true for every woman. In fact, a 2012 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that women's sexual satisfaction in the boudoir increases with age. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

We get more sexual when we let go of the shame surrounding sex and sexuality. Plus with each passing decade, we get more comfortable with our bodies, have a stronger sense of self, and are better able to communicate our sexual needs and desires—in addition to understanding our sexual power.

Watching women having sex sounds like a natural expansion of your sexuality—one that you should not be ashamed of. It is perfectly normal for women to fantasize about having sex with other women or to watch lesbian porn. Doing so does not necessarily make you a lesbian or even bi-curious. In fact, from working with my clients, I know firsthand that it's actually quite common for women that identify as straight to enjoy seeing women have sex with women.

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For you personally, watching women have sex may be something that stays in your fantasy realm. You said that you get extremely turned on and that you orgasm every time you visit that website. By all means, continue to enjoy that healthy release and engage in that voyeuristic pleasure.

Watching women have sex could also point to you wanting to have more oral sex in your own life. And, seeing as how this engagement is an expansion of your vibrant sex life, why not bring your partner into the act? Visit that website with your partner and ask him to perform tantric oral sex on you. This is a way for him to worship you as a sex goddess and to acknowledge your vagina as a place of shared spirituality.

If you want to take it to the next level and engage with your partner on mind, body, soul levels, you can watch my multi-orgasmic tantric massage videos. The videos are simultaneously erotic and educational. In one of the videos, I teach a woman how to have an orgasm through nipple massage. As you know and have experienced, one of the attractions of eroticism and porn is watching other people engage in their primal sexual energy. Doing that turns us on. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Just make sure that while watching these videos and engaging with your partner or even self-pleasuring, you are doing so in a way that does not involve shame. These videos are meant for your pleasure and will only add to and expand your already wonderful sex life.