When I was trying to decide how to start this article, my now-fiancée Julia offered up her favorite quote about marriage, by Supreme Court Justice Kennedy from the 2015 case on gay marriage, Obergefell v. Hodges. (I'm actually the lawyer in this relationship. She just happens to be obsessed with the Supreme Court.)
"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were."
And that's exactly why I asked Julia to marry me. Together, we are something greater than we once were. Since we first met on a New York City subway F train on a cold January night in 2014, we've accomplished more of our life goals than either of us had in our lives before that.
Take our health and fitness, for example. With my encouragement and accountability, I supported Julia in losing nearly 20 pounds and three pants sizes over two years ago. Her new shape gave her the confidence to pursue pole-dancing and aerial silks, an exercise routine that allows her to fully express herself and stay fit. Julia's focus on her health inspired me to be in the best shape of my life. I can now hold a plank for five minutes straight, do 125 pushups in a row, and do a flagpole (my body parallel to the ground while holding onto a pole with my arms outstretched).
Without Julia, I would still be working at a boring law firm instead of calling the shots in my life. We have designed our lives such that we spend 90 percent of our time together (seriously, we usually work directly across from each other) and can travel whenever and wherever we want. We started a nonprofit organization focused on ending street harassment by engaging men to be part of the solution.
With her support, I started my own real estate firm and am publishing a (soon-to-be) best-selling book (fittingly titled Stop Masturbating and Start Living). I don't say this to brag but rather to show what is possible when two people dedicate themselves to each other fully and completely.
Julia's enthusiasm for early mornings (I'm NOT a morning person) also led us to discover the fantastic community and lifestyle that is Daybreaker, the early-morning, sober dance party that has changed thousands of lives (including our own). We already loved dancing and costumes, but the authentic joy and community that Daybreaker embodies created a new outlet for our self-expression and a source of happiness.
Julia and I lead created lives—meaning we create and take responsibility for everything in our lives, from our careers to our thoughts and our feelings. From the very first 7 a.m. dance party, we knew that we had found a home of fun-loving, positive, and inspiring people that we wanted to be part of our lives. Since then, we've gone to almost every Daybreaker event that's happened—and brought over a hundred of our friends to join in the love with us.