George and Lori consulted me because they were having trouble communicating. Invariably, both became controlling. Lori would become harsh and begin to blame and then withdraw, and George would get angry and defensive and then withdraw. George had a tendency to overtalk, and Lori had a tendency to be very negative. Both were triggered by these more subtle forms of control. They couldn't seem to talk about the simplest of issues.
After being married for 23 years, this had been going on a long time and they were contemplating divorce.
Both stated that they felt lonely and distant from each other. Both stated that they still loved each other but that neither felt loved. They had seen many marriage counselors but were still stuck in their dysfunctional system.