This aversion to uninterrupted time with my thoughts is confusing when you consider the fact that I am on board with pretty much every other type of holistic healing. As I look around my apartment, I see a coffee table littered with about 30 different types of chakra stones, a stack of books on spirituality, and a whole lot of Hidden Hippie bra crystals lying around. Yep, this shoe box of New York real estate is my chill, happy place, where I churn out musings on all things crystals and energy medicine.
I'll program my crystals, smudge my apartment, and keep my chakras balanced no worries, but ask me to sit down, shut my eyes, and focus on my breath? I'm sweating just thinking about it.
Surely I can't be the only spiritual seeker out there who gets a little panicky about the thought of calming down.
It's not like meditating has nasty venom or gnarly teeth. In fact, I acknowledge my aversion likely falls under the irrational because-you-know-it's-good-for-you type fear. I hear all the arguments that I should be meditating, but try as I might, I still don't have a consistent practice (unless once a year counts as consistent).
Trying to pinpoint the source of my resistance is tricky, but I think a few factors come into play.