Question: I am a heterosexual female, and I find myself attracted to an awesome female friend of mine—who is a lesbian. I'm really comfortable around her, and I find myself wanting to be around her all the time. I want to hold and kiss her, but I'm afraid. How do I get more comfortable being intimate with her? She would be the first girl I've ever kissed.
So you've never kissed a girl before, but you think you might like it. Why does that sound so familiar? I think it might have something to do with Katy Perry. But kissing another woman isn't just the subject of a pop song—it happens to be a fairly common impulse for women who identify as heterosexual.
In fact, a 2011 Boise State University study concluded that 60 percent of heterosexual women are attracted to other women. Another study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that nearly 70 percent of college students, both women and men, have been to a party where they witnessed two girls who identify as straight making out. You shouldn't feel alone or ashamed about wanting to kiss another girl. Women are incredibly sensual beings. The main focus is to make sure your intentions are pure and you are doing it for you.
And let's not forget that sexuality exists on a spectrum. Some people fall into the categories of hyper- or hyposexual. Where do you think you might fall on the scale of sexuality? Ask yourself these questions to find out:
1. Do you find that you are interested in kissing another girl but still consider yourself heterosexual and attracted to men?
2. Do you fear that after kissing a girl you may no longer identify as heterosexual but as bisexual or lesbian?
3. Do you normally find yourself expressing your sexual desires and having high sexual energy?
If you said yes to two or more of these questions, then you might be hypersexual. If you said no to two or more of the questions then you are might be hyposexual.
Regardless of your answer, here's my advice on how to proceed.