You hear the typical warning signs: Your body will change, your hormones will rage, you will be exhausted all of the time, and oh yeah, there's actually a laundry list of things you cannot eat, drink, or do. (God bless my sweet grandma who had seven boys in 10 years.) The aspect of pregnancy I wasn't prepared for was the real, everyday struggle with my emotions.
My nights are full of crazy dreams and bathroom breaks that leave me feeling like I didn't sleep at all. I've started to cry all of the time, and not just over feel-good things. I have never been one to scroll through my news feed feeling depressed that my life doesn't look like everyone else's, until now. And the worst thing, which I feel incredibly guilty about, is that I don't feel connected to the child inside of me.
The problem is that society doesn't like to talk about this not-so-pretty side of things. It's frowned upon to say you're not enjoying your pregnancy, or even worse, that you don't feel attuned to your baby. But these feelings are real and they're exactly why we end up feeling alone when life hands us spoiled lemons and everyone else's always seem to be perfectly ripe. We live in a world where this glorified expectation of perfection constantly stares us in the face. Heck, we don't even have to get out of bed before it starts. There's no room to feel, no room to be who you are without thinking you're not good enough.
I knew I couldn't stay in this place of sadness and loneliness forever, so I asked someone I consider a mentor for advice. "Dig down deep into your soul and search for all of the strength and the courage you have left, because you are not alone," she said. She was right; I am not alone. You are not alone. And if you're feeling the same way I was, and still am to an extent, this is my advice to you: