There are many reasons relationships do or don't work between two people. Two major factors are how a person was raised and how they were treated in school or social situations. Past traumas are bound to play out when people are older, in their own adult relationships. Knowing about your element, however, is one of the main ways to quickly sum up whether you will be rocking together on a swing set in old age or you will be signing divorce papers before the wedding dress has been packed into the attic.
About the Five Elements:
The system of the Five Elements began as a healing practice that grew out of a 5,000-year-old Asian medical system. Chinese physicians believed that the universe is composed of forces that include water, wood, fire, earth, and metal—the five elements. They proposed that human behavior, emotions, and health are also influenced by these elements and that people are led by one or two elements. If we understand these elements, we can use them to stay in balance physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
And once you know which elements are most prominent in you, you can bring more clarity and understanding to your relationships.
An overview of the types:
In general, Water-types are quiet, pensive, creative, and prone to feeling sorry for themselves. Wood-types are fearless, determined, bold, and can be aggressive. Fires are fun, entertaining, joyful, and have a difficult time with commitment to people and projects. Earths are compassionate, warm, caring, and can over-worry and enable others. Metals are reverent, calm, intellectual, and have the tendency to detach from people.
Here, we'll give you a brief overview of each element then delve into the best matches for each element.
Water Archetype: The Philosopher
Famous Waters: Kurt Cobain, Nicolas Cage
Water people dive deep into life. Waters are the ones who walk slowly through the rain, soaking up the smell of the wet pavement and listening to the droplets on the ground. Waters take their time. The word "hurry" is not in their vocabulary, and this plays out in the way they speak, walk, act, react, and live—they take in everything around them.
Waters have unique and inspiring ideas, but putting those ideas into action is quite difficult for a Water. They can get lost and overwhelmed by the details. They yearn for someone else to manage the little things for them.
Wood Archetype: The Pioneer
Famous Woods: Alecia Moore (aka P!NK), Simon Cowell
Woods are fearless and they lead with a determination that surpasses all limits. They see the bigger picture, find solutions, seek out the best in things, and make changes. They are strong, sturdy, stable, logical, bold, independent, and unapologetic. They are also very fair-minded, and nothing upsets them more than injustices. This makes them powerful.
Woods exude confidence and don't let much stand in their way. If they can imagine it, it can be done. They enjoy debates and arguments and are not easily swayed by others' opinions. Once they make up their minds, there is little that can convince them that someone else's opinion is right. Woods know they are right, which acts as fuel for their strong drive but doesn't always bode well for their personal relationships.
Water supports Wood:
Waters and Woods can be incredibly productive together. They can make a great team, especially in business. The Water comes up with inspirational ideas, and the Wood puts them into action. The Water can help the Wood to slow down and go with the flow. The Wood can help the Water to be productive and meet deadlines.
Fire Archetype: The Wizard
Famous Fires: Jim Carrey, Ellen DeGeneres
Do you know someone who always seems to be happy, joyful, or excited? They walk into a room with a huge smile, almost dancing as they walk. There is an uplifting, lively rhythm to their existence, and they seem to not get stuck in the muck that slows down the rest of us.
Fires have the natural ability to pull other elements out of darkness or boredom into the land of the living. Their energy is contagious. They laugh easily and seem to be bubbling over with excitement even if others don't see any reason to get excited. Just about every day is an incredible experience for them.
Pleasure, fun, and anything that feels good is where Fires are drawn. However, Fires often abandon people or events that lack excitement and passion. They are loyal and dedicated until something doesn't feel good, and then they move on to the next pleasurable experience. It can seem like a Fire person loves everybody and that their love for you isn't so special or sincere.
Wood supports Fire:
Woods and Fires have great chemistry. The Wood will appreciate the Fire's magical ability to spread celebratory joy, and the Fire will appreciate the Wood's knack for staying on task. The Wood can help the Fire to focus and stay on track. The Fire can help the Wood to relax and have fun.
Earth Archetype: The Preschool Teacher
Famous Earths: Mister Rogers, Pope Francis
Earths are the angels of compassion and caring. Earth people almost always have children, but if they don't they will pour their love into caring for animals or teaching children. Their nurturing nature comes from deep within the heart and shows itself through generosity. They quilt, sew, garden, cook, or paint, all so they can give handmade gifts to others. They want to make you feel comfortable, safe, and know you are loved. Deep inside, they are hoping for love in return.
Change can be excruciating for Earths, and they don't want anyone to feel bad or dislike them so they are careful not to rock the boat. Uncomfortable with change and risk, they tend to walk on eggshells, say what they think people want to hear, and enable others.
Fire supports Earth:
Fires and Earths are natural supporters of each other's joy. This relationship will be very warm and loving. The Earth will feel motivated and thrilled by the Fire energy, and the Fire will feel grounded by the Earth. The Fire can help the Earth to let go of the past and be in the present. The Earth can help the Fire by providing support and calm so the Fire doesn't burn out.
Metal Archetype: The Alchemist
Famous Metals: Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham
The Metal person is a master at meeting life where it is at and rising above it. They are above the fray of its ups and downs and never get too ruffled.
Metals are spiritual seekers often looking to the next guru or mind-body-spirit connection. Because the Metal person is often seeking a higher path of spiritual existence, if you don't fit into their vision of the divine, then they may politely end their relationship with you without arguing or struggle. The Metal will say "farewell" and move on to something and someone at the level that they require. It can feel cold and detached, but for the Metal it is a path of the highest respect for themselves and their journey.
Earth supports Metal:
This even-keeled relationship can be very beautiful. Metals are nurtured by Earths, and Earths feel protected by Metals. The Metal will appreciate the Earth's natural compassion and ability to flow with social events, and the Earth will drink up the Metal's wisdom and role as a mentor. The Earth can help the Metal to stay connected to people, even when the Metal is under stress and tempted to detach emotionally. The Metal can help the Earth by understanding that some detachment is OK, that it can provide solitude and emotional clarity.
Metal supports Water:
There is a peacefulness between Metals and Waters. It's not a bouncy, happy relationship like that of two college girlfriends but more like a deep friendship between two old men who enjoy sitting on a bench swapping sage ideas. It is a meeting of the minds, as the Water searches for meaning and the Metal seeks enlightenment. The Metal can help the Water detach from things and finish projects. The Water can help the Metal connect to people and not detach.