We are all told the same story: that marriage has its ups and downs, and making it last takes a lot of work. But, for some reason when it's finally your time to tie the knot, you still believe your marriage is going to be a fairy tale.
Once I said "I do," I was convinced that my marriage was going to make it to the finish line. But as time went on, I realized that just "making it" was not good enough for me. There are people who are content enough in their marriages — they go through the motions, find purpose in their career or in their children, and fulfill one checklist item after the next. And they sleep well at night because they are living the life they were taught to live.
I am not one of those people.
Now, I committed for better or worse. So did my husband. But that doesn't mean just cohabitating through whatever life wants to bring our way. That means fighting for each other, for happiness, and for love every single day.
A few years ago, my husband and I got caught up in just going through the motions. We started to feel more like roommates and less like lovers. I loved my husband, believe me, but not all of my buckets were being filled. (I am sure his weren't either.)
Then I went to Vegas for a much-needed girls' trip and spent a night out dancing with some friends. The next morning, I realized that I was enjoying the attention from other men a little more than I should have. It may have looked like friendly dancing, but I knew I was looking for validation in the wrong place.
The worst thing you can do in your marriage is to ignore or excuse those feelings. If you do, next time you'll find yourself in a much worse situation.
If you are feeling like you're stuck at a red light in your marriage and are looking to bring back some spice, I have five tips for you: