So, a relationship ended but you've realized that's not over for you. Well, you're not alone. A May 2016 survey by Relationup (an app that provides live, professional, anonymous relationship advice) revealed that 63 percent of men and women ages 25 to 35 have tried to get back with an ex after a relationship ended.
After a breakup, most people make the mistake of trying to get their partners' attention by engaging in the same sort of behavior that drove the two of them apart in the first place. Despite the fact that your partner felt you were too needy, you might decide it would be a good idea to text your ex to check in on them frequently, hoping that your engagement will remind them of what they're missing.
If the breakup was due to drama, your first instinct might be to try to continue the negative connection. If uncertainty about your relationship drove you to be anxious and demanding, you might be propelled to engage in the push and pull of cutting off contact, later breaking your boundaries and reaching out again. Unsurprisingly, this seldom works.
Getting back together is actually about repairing what was broken (if that is in your control) and then finding out if your ex is willing and able to give things another try. But the repair process is complex; it involves taking responsibility and developing self-reflection and new coping mechanisms, so you don't engage in old, unhealthy patterns. Here are four steps to help you work through that process: