Connection matters. Real connection is what makes life juicy.
As human beings we are biologically programmed to build relationships and feel like we’re part of a community with whom we gather and share experiences. For some, community means their pick-up soccer team; for others, it’s a church or spiritual group. It might be a knitting circle or a group of friends that gathers to drink wine and, if they remember, talk about books.
For most of us living in the modern world, our tribe consists of the people we choose to spend our time with and the connections we build around shared interests, passions, and worldviews. On a deeper, psychological level, genuine, meaningful connections to others make us feel seen, heard, celebrated, and part of something bigger than our own mini-dramas and individual stories. They invoke a sense of belonging. These connections help orient us back to a place of giving and being of service, which, Gandhi says, is the “best way to find yourself.”
I recently left my beloved community in Western Massachusetts to move to Bali. Among my New England tribe of farmers, activists, yogis, artists, and poets I felt a communal appreciation for the sense of abundance we felt in one another’s presence, the sense of adventure and connection and always-enough when we gathered together to sing songs around campfires, share potluck meals, and open up our homes and hearts to each other.
When I arrived in Bali I went through a period of grief and separation, missing this homespun connection I’d built with my tribe back home. After a few weeks of passing up the endless array of social events for Skype calls with my core group of women back home, I realized that the clichéd saying was ringing true in my life: "Your vibe attracts your tribe."
For so many of us who leave a good thing and find ourselves in a new place, staring in the rearview mirror can prevent us from inhabiting all the magic that surrounds us. Here are eleven crucial tips for attracting your new tribe in a new place: