The main reason I started my coaching groups is so that my clients could cheer one another on. It has turned out to be more powerful than my wildest dreams. Through our weekly calls and private Facebook groups, my clients are helping each other in unbelievable ways. We soothe one another during the hard times and pat each other on the back when something goes well.
If you can find such a community, you'll be amazed at the results. If you can't find one, create one—either to meet in person or online. Once again, just have a rule in place that no negativity is allowed!
It's easy to forget that increasing self-worth is a gradual and lifelong process. So keep that front of mind! Because even as you expand your worthiness threshold, you'll still have to deal with those old "demons" that occasionally rise up. Over time, they'll become quieter, and you'll pay less attention to them. But every time you expand beyond your current threshold, you can expect them to pipe up again. Don't worry; it's just the voice of fear, in a misguided attempt to keep you safe.
You'll also continue to find blind spots. Here's one of mine: My husband got our truck in the divorce, which left me without a car. Believe it or not, I lived in Boulder, Colorado, for three years with only a bicycle. Then, a friend said, "What do you mean you don't have a car?" I said, "My ex-husband got the truck in the divorce"—as if that was the only vehicle in the world! For some reason, I just hadn't believed I was worthy of spending money on a car of my own, even though I could afford one.
When I finally discovered my blind spot (took me three years—duh!), I bought a car . . . and paid for it outright. A new car wasn't a necessity, but I wanted it—and I was finally willing to let myself have exactly the car I wanted. That car became a symbol of my independence—the freedom to go where I wanted, when I wanted. It was a lot of money to spend, and I had to take few deep breaths before writing that check! But giving myself permission was all about letting go of the belief that I deserved deprivation—and about believing in my own worth instead.
So you'll move into greater self-worth one step at a time. You'll discover new blind spots. And that awareness will propel you forward to take whatever steps you deem necessary to have what you desire. Sometimes it may go slower than you'd like, but be patient. Pat yourself on the back every time you catch yourself in an old habit or change a behavior. Catch yourself, too, if you beat up on yourself for backsliding. Use that as yet another opportunity to have compassion for yourself and stoke your self-worth.