I was sitting on the couch looking out the window. The kids were at school, and hubby was at work. As I sat there, I realized something: I was not living the life I was supposed to have.
I needed to stop making decisions based on other people’s opinions. I needed to stop feeling constantly misunderstood. I needed to stop getting sidetracked by negativity. I needed to step into a life I had designed for myself.
This was the moment I realized This ain’t working, and there’s no turning back. (If you haven’t seen Elizabeth Gilbert’s "Not This" Facebook post on this topic, you’ve gotta check it out.)
My whole life, the emotional world around me had kept me in constant pain. In that moment, I was so desperate to feel something, anything else, that the idea of death seemed like a relief. I just wanted the pain to stop. But I knew that death wasn’t really an end—just a transition. So, I started looking for answers.
I’d wondered my entire life why I was so deeply affected by other people’s emotions. I thought something must be wrong with me. I was being too sensitive or overly emotional. Negative energy never seemed to affect other people the way it affected me.
Fear, judgment, and sadness—the negative energy from other people that we silently accumulate every day—became so overwhelming for me that I felt physical pain. Here are a few of the questions I found myself asking regularly: