Why You Should Try A Relationship Cleanse

Written by Dorian Ayres

Photo by Stocksy

Beet juice, lemon juice, alkalizing water, fruit fasts, broth fasts, quick fasts, slow fasts—you might've tried 'em all.

But the most important kind of cleanse, in my opinion, is one you can't buy in stores. It can’t be juiced. It can’t be fasted. And it takes serious commitment.

I’m talking about a relationship cleanse.

No amount of cleansing can fix an unresolved cause of toxicity. And relationships are one of the most toxic aspects of our lives.

Our models for behavior in relationships often come from movies and TV. The stars get high off each other’s love chemicals. They use each other as crutches for insecurity. Then they cling together until the pain of being in a relationship is greater than the fear of being alone.

We think this is romance, but it’s actually codependence. Bad relationships generate emotions like fear, anxiety, hatred, depression, insecurity, despair, and jealousy.

All of these emotions manifest physically, creating a toxicity that no amount of beet juice can cure. Good relationships that fill us with hope and encouragement can offset toxic lifestyles.

So, start surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging, honest, and grateful people today.

Here are three steps to support you in your relationship detox:

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1. Affirm your worth.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” Yeah, I stole that from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but it resonates for a reason.

Like attracts like, right? So your self-perception determines what you accept from other people. Toxic self-dialogue leads to toxic relationships and toxic emotions—you can break the cycle by practicing exclusively encouraging thoughts about yourself.

Take time every day to improve your self-perception. Make a habit of flooding yourself with positive thoughts about you—from your looks to your accomplishments to your intrinsic value. Affirm your worth at every turn—especially when you falter.

Make a habit of saying these things (and others like them) constantly throughout the day:

I love you. I love how hard you work to make me happy. I appreciate you. I respect you. I accept you no matter what. I’m so proud of your accomplishments and so excited to see how you grow today. I am worthy. I am valuable. I am needed. I am confident and capable of achieving my dreams today.

Condition your mind to accept nothing less than respect and gratitude from others by practicing the same with yourself. Doing this in the morning, whenever you feel down, and before bed will pave the way for inspiring relationships. It will also give you the strength to let go of toxic ones.

2. Release negative relationships.

Letting go of people who aren’t good for us is extremely challenging. The longer we hang around them, the more permanent they seem, and the harder it is to let them go. Toxic friends and lovers are like security blankets in a constantly changing world; we’ll hang on to them until we realize just how much they drag us down.

So think about the friends (or lovers) with whom you haven’t been able to part. Then think of the emotions they bring into the relationship. If you’re constantly brought down by an unreliable, unfaithful, static, or sketchy person, think of how the stress affects your body. Then realize how positively your life would change if you let them go.

It’s hard. But if you want to be the best version of you, you need people who can help.

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3. Choose enlightening, energizing, encouraging relationships.

Make the decision to surround yourself exclusively with positive people. It takes effort. It takes commitment. And it requires that you live an inspired life yourself. But for the vitality these relationships will bring to your life, it’s worth every bit of effort.

The best way to find positive and encouraging people is to do the things you love. Whether it’s rock climbing, hiking, camping, volunteering, or pursuing your dream career, you’re guaranteed to find the right people when you're being the right person—partners included.

Ask yourself if your relationships are creating toxicity. If they aren’t brimming with happiness, set new standards that will allow your relationships to overflow with positivity. Set higher standards for the way you talk to yourself. And if the other person can’t change with you, consider letting them go.

Your health and happiness are worth it.

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