Did you know that most self-help programs following the standard success blueprint have a 97 percent failure rate? The typical personal improvement mantra of “tapping into your willpower and using the power of positive thinking” is actually often a recipe for failure. In The Love Code: The Secret Principle to Achieving Success in Life, Love, and Happiness, my goal is to provide you, the reader, with a self-help program that will help you achieve the life you want and the success you deserve.
Science has proven that stress is the primary source of many physical, spiritual, emotional, and even circumstantial issues. I believe that understanding how love works in our bodies is the key to combating stress. By harnessing love’s power and learning to live in the present, you can define your life goals and live mindfully in a state of peace.
The moment you begin acting in love rather than from fear—what I call the “Transformational Aha”—is the first step to changing your external circumstances by living in an internal state of peace.
The Transformational Aha is akin to a near-death experience, in which the person experiencing it is forever changed in ways that likely never could have happened through willpower alone. The person may have even tried to make such changes before unsuccessfully. But the heart and mind control the body. When the programming changes, everything can change, and often on a dime. And the cases where this has occurred are usually quite easy to spot.
We can’t control whether or not we receive this experience, but we can increase the opportunities we have to receive this incredible gift. All we have to do is think and meditate on this idea—the love code—and be open to the possibility of receiving the experience.
Specifically, I’d like you to meditate over each of the following points, one at a time and in this order:
- It’s not ever your fault.
- The internal always creates the external—never the other way around.
- What you really want most is never an external circumstance—it’s always the internal state of love, joy, and peace.
- WIIFM—What’s In It For Me—love (which is what most people call, and believe is, real love) often looks like love on the outside, but it is really an unhealthy attempt to control others and circumstances to get the external circumstances that you think will make you happy—but they never will, long term!
- Your willpower, fueled by fear and faulty programming, has a one-in-a-million shot at making you happy and successful. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it will leave you stressed and frustrated.
- The internal state of love, joy, and peace is a miraculous/divine power source for life and success that virtually always works.
- Living in love for the next 30 minutes as best you can, giving up external and physical results and circumstances, will produce success and happiness beyond your wildest dreams.
I recommend this approach for every one of my private clients, and about two-thirds of them experience the Transformational Aha. Here’s what I tell them: Think and meditate on these principles for an hour, or a week, or as long as it takes for them to really saturate their minds and hearts.
You don’t necessarily have to memorize the principles. Just keep thinking and meditating on them until you find that you not only believe them, but you have made the commitment to follow the path of living in love in the present moment, no matter what—not using willpower and expectations but doing the best you can, with the support you need, moment by moment.
I’ve found that about half my clients get to this point gradually, and about half get to this point all of a sudden, like an epiphany. But whether it happens gradually or quickly, one day they discover themselves believing. They can see how their problem is not their fault; they can see how the external never creates the internal—and they know it deep in their hearts.
Even trying to believe can become a matter of willpower and expectations. It isn’t our job to believe. Trying to believe blocks true belief, because that means we’ve turned it into an expectation.
Don’t try to believe, and don’t put a timetable on it. If you do, you’ll be working against yourself.
It takes most people three weeks or less to get to this point of belief and commitment. But however long it takes, if you can give up willpower and expectations, one day you will discover yourself living these principles.