What was your first “real job”?
I got my first office job in my early 20s. This was a big deal to a kid doing a four-year business degree and hoping to land a sexy role in a corner office one day.
I’ll never forget the biggest lesson I learned that first suit-and-tie summer. For four months I worked as an intern at a big consulting company in a downtown Toronto high-rise. Casey was my boss and the head of the project I was assigned to for the summer, working with one of the world’s largest oil and gas companies.
One Monday morning in August, I was sitting in his glass-windowed corner office with the rising sun beaming onto the desk between us. More than three months of late-night stress and working on weekends had led to this moment.
We were minutes away from our big presentation.
Casey’s sense of humor had carried me through all the challenges and late nights of Chinese takeout leading up to today, but the last-minute question he hit me with just made me snap. My nerves were frayed. I had no energy left.
“Why do we have an assumption in here instead of an actual figure?” he asked.
“Because Roger didn’t write back to my three emails asking him for the right number, and he never gave us a number where we could call him. I tried his assistant twice and never heard back, either. It’s like he forgot we existed. You know that.”
Roger was the highly praised CEO of the oil and gas company. He was highlighted in flashy magazine articles, known as a leader who embodied work-life balance while nonchalantly beating his numbers every year.
Meanwhile, employees at the company told us he ate lunch in the company cafeteria, drove a beat-up truck to work, and had dinner with his kids every night.
The man was a legend.
After our introductory meeting three months back, I wrote Roger an email summarizing our meeting and next steps. He didn’t write back. So, I took my laptop home every night in case Roger emailed with an urgent question or request. I checked email every half an hour just in case the CEO of the company ever emailed late at night asking for a project update the next morning. Just so if he ever needed something, anything, I’d be there.
But…there was nothing. In three months of working for him he didn’t write me a single email. He didn’t write Casey any emails, either. We dropped a few questions along the way but never heard back. And I had just told Casey my messages to his assistant weren’t returned, either. Now suddenly it was time for our big presentation and Casey was questioning why I didn’t have certain numbers.
I steadied my nerves as we stepped into the boardroom where Roger was sitting and chatting with our company president. He smiled and got up to shake our hands and thank us for the work we’d done. “I’m so excited,” he said with a big grin. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate how hard you’ve been working. You guys are geniuses. I’m going to learn so much from this chat.”
The anger I felt about his unresponsiveness suddenly melted. I felt like a million bucks.
We jumped into the presentation and had a great discussion. It was casual, engaging, and open. He loved it. And I couldn’t believe how relaxed everything felt. He was talking to us like old friends. When the meeting ended, there was so much trust between us. As we were packing up, I thought about it for a split second and decided to ask him one last question.
I couldn’t help myself.
“Roger, thanks so much for today. We had trouble checking some numbers with you in advance. And I know we didn’t hear from you on the additional questions we had. So, just for my own learning, can I ask why you don’t write or respond to emails? How do you do that?”
His eyes opened a bit and he seemed surprised by the question. But he wasn’t fazed.
“Neil,” he said, “there’s a problem with email. After you send one, the responsibility of it goes away from you and becomes the responsibility of the other person. It’s a hot potato. An email is work given to you by somebody else.”
I nodded, thinking about all the emails I got from Casey and co-workers.
“I do read emails, but the ones looking for something are always much less urgent than they seem. When I don’t respond, one of two things happens:
The person figures it out on their own, or they email me again because it really was important.
“Sure, I send one or two emails a day but they usually say, ‘Give me a call,’ or, ‘Let’s chat about this.’ Unless they’re from my wife. I answer all of those.”
I was very confused.
How was the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company with thousands of employees not emailing?
He paused to look at me and sensed I didn’t get it.
“You know what,” he continued, “since I don’t write many emails, I don’t receive many either. I probably only get five or ten emails a day.”
Five emails a day? Here I was, working at a consulting company writing emails morning, noon, and night. It was the same for everyone. “My inbox has seven hundred emails,” my co-workers would say and sigh. “I did emails all Sunday afternoon.” There was no way around it. After all, our bosses sent urgent emails at 7 a.m. Saturday, late Sunday afternoon, or at 11 p.m. Friday.
I knew this was common in my company and others. McKinsey had even reported that office workers spend on average 28 percent of their time answering email. Almost a third. And Baydin, one of the world’s largest email management services, says the average person gets 147 emails a day. We were all attached to our cellphones and computers, firing emails around, working hard to get everything done. It was part of the job. And we all wanted to do a good job.
Suddenly, it clicked. Roger had lunch in the cafeteria with employees every day and drove home for dinner with his family every night because didn’t respond to hot potatoes. He didn’t write back to emails and create email chains.
I looked up at Roger again, and he continued.
“Most of the time, Neil,” he continued, “people really do figure it out on their own. They realize they know the answer, they keep on moving, they develop confidence for next time. They become better themselves. Your assumptions in the slides today weren’t perfect, but they worked perfectly well, and you learned by doing them. Don’t get me wrong. I sometimes walk over to chat with a person or pick up the phone. But if I wrote back to the email, I’d be sending a hot potato. And nobody wants to be asked by the CEO to do something…never mind on an evening or weekend. Why? Because people would drop everything to reply. And they would expect me to reply to that. Basically, if I sent an email, it would never end.
“So I end it.”