The Mental Trick That'll Earn You A Raise

Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation and the creator of zivaMIND, the world's first online meditation training. Companies like Google, Barclays Bank, Viacom, Chanel, Coca-Cola, and sweetgreen have all invited Emily to help up-level company performance through meditation. You can learn with her, too, by joining her course, "Guided Visualizations: How To Overcome Your Fears, Excel At Work & Have Mind-Blowing Sex."

Asking for a raise can be a nerve-wracking process. Even if you know you deserve a higher salary, sometimes the very act of asking is so intimidating that we don’t do it. Requesting a raise can also bring up a lot of feelings: self-doubt, fear of rejection, and unworthiness.

Here’s the secret: We don’t get what we want; we get what we negotiate. If you go into your boss’s office with a mindset of “I am valuable,” you will likely have a much better outcome than if you go in with a mindset of “I’m not enough.” People respond to nonverbal cues, so by cultivating an air of confidence and calmness you will set yourself up for a more successful interaction before you even open your mouth. Here are a few other techniques to help you approach the situation with ease.

1. View it as a conversation, not a request.

There is a quote that I love: “Politely demand what you deserve.” Avoid viewing this interaction as a situation in which you are asking for something and waiting for a yes or no answer. Instead, see this as an opportunity to recognize your own accomplishments and identify what financial compensation would sufficiently recognize your contributions. If you receive a negative response, take the opportunity to negotiate and advocate for yourself.

2. Practice with a friend.

Have a conversation with a friend in which you take on your employer’s point of view. This will help you pinpoint places in the interaction where you might face resistance. Then you can start thinking about ways that you could calmly and effectively respond, and you can hold these in your back pocket in case such a situation arises. Try having the conversation with your friend a few different times to see all the ways the conversation could go and get comfortable responding on the fly.

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3. Be open to receiving.

If you are clinging very tightly to the idea of “I’m not going to get this raise” or “I have to receive this exact number,” you will likely bring that closed-off energy into the interaction. Instead, when walking into the room, tell yourself, “I am willing to be open to a solution that is more elegant than I can conceive.” Trust that nature has your back.

4. Be terrified and do it anyway.

You can think about why you deserve a raise as much as you want, but none of it matters if you don’t actually ask for it. Another way of viewing this is that you can spend all the time in the world packing a parachute, but that doesn’t matter if you never actually jump out of the plane. So acknowledge your fears, summon your courage, and then jump!

When you recognize that your beliefs about how much you deserve actually affect how much you receive, you’re better able to enter the situation with confidence and a sense of worthiness—which ultimately leads to a better result. For other ways to succeed at work, check out my course for mbg titled “Guided Visualizations: How to Overcome Your Fears, Excel At Work & Have Mind-Blowing Sex.” I think you’ll be surprised at just how much abundance there is to be uncovered.

Emily Fletcher

Founder of Ziva Meditation
Emily Fletcher is the founder of Ziva Meditation, the world's first online meditation training. Ziva's mission is to make meditation attractive and accessible to modern people who are ready to up-level their performance and their life. Recently featured in the New York Times and regarded as one of the leading experts in Vedic meditation, Emily has been invited by companies like Google, Barclays Bank, Viacom, Chanel, Coca-Cola, and sweetgreen to help up-level company performance through meditation.Emily has had the honor of speaking at Summit Series, Awesomeness Fest, and the Omega Center. She began her nine years of training in Rishikesh, India, and was inspired to teach after experiencing the profound physical and mental benefits meditation provided her during her 10-year career on Broadway, which included roles in Chicago, The Producers, and A Chorus Line. With her high-performance background and intensive meditation training, Emily is perfectly suited to teach busy people how to incorporate meditation and visualization into their life, and she's an mbg course instructor! You can learn with her by joining her course, Guided Visualizations: How to Overcome Your Fears, Excel at Work, and Have Mind-Blowing Sex. She has also created a powerful guided visualization called zivaDETOX. It's a simple, downloadable audio that is designed to help you release thoughts and stress that are not serving you and to get you on the right path to leaving the stress behind. If Ziva sounds charming to you or you want to deepen your daily practice, you can join a global community of meditators and uplift your life from the comfort of your own home.
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Emily Fletcher

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