As a society, we tend to associate fake orgasms with women. More specifically, we picture Meg Ryan performing an orgasm at Katz’s Deli in "When Harry Met Sally."
But the scene would have been just as realistic if it had been Billy Crystal screaming at the top of his lungs. A new study says that men are faking orgasms a lot more often than we think they are.
Scientists at the University du Quebec a Montreal surveyed 230 male volunteers aged between 18 and 29 about their sex life. All of the participants had been in a relationship for at least 4 months and admitted to faking an orgasm with their partner at least once.
Turns out it wasn't a one time thing. The men admitted to faking an orgasm in about 30 percent of all sexual encounters—and it was most common during vaginal sex, followed by oral, anal, and manual stimulation.
Well, the reason is actually more romantic than you might expect. The researchers found that men were most likely to feign orgasm to protect their partner’s self-esteem. Other reasons included being drunk, having "unappealing" sex, or a desire to improve the quality of the sexual encounter.
Speaking to mindbodygreen at our revitalize event last year, Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, author of The Viagra Myth: The Surprising Impact on Love and Relationships, said, "Men are actually doing it for the same reasons women fake orgasms—which is to be kind to the other person, say, 'You've kind of done a good job,' and now we can all go to sleep."
Perhaps even more interestingly, the researchers also found that the more a man faked an orgasm for altruistic reasons, the higher his self-reported satisfaction was, romantically and sexually, in his relationship. Which makes sense, if you think about it, because the more you care about and desire your partner, the more you want to protect his or her feelings.
So, if your partner ever catches you doing a particularly bad acting job in bed, just tell him or her it's all out of love.
But when the motivator to fake an orgasm is bad sex or a bad choice in partner, the men experienced lower levels of sexual and emotional satisfaction in the relationship. Which also makes sense, and probably means you should probably stop having sex with that person.