In the end, I had to silence the emotional voice that screamed, “No, you have been alone for so long and wanted so badly to find someone and now you are walking away. What are you doing? If you just tried harder, you would make it work.”
And that is it: If I just tried harder. I would have to try. It would be all me, giving up the things I wanted to be with him. I began to imagine I could live with that, but deep inside I knew I couldn’t. If we stayed together, our passion would keep bringing us together, but the resentment would always pull us apart in the end.
So, I climbed out of the rabbit hole, a bit bruised and battered, but wiser.
I threw myself into a new life in San Diego. I fell in love with the beautiful, sunny, vibrant city. I found a huge six-bedroom house and filled it with a dynamic group of young professionals who became some of my best friends. I went to every networking event I could and met fabulous, successful business people who inspired me to develop my life coaching business.
I experienced the typical dating highs and lows—I had a few flings. I am most definitely single right now, and some days it's great and some days I struggle.
It is my life, though, and I'm living it on my terms. I am no longer giving up pieces of myself to another person.