6 Signs It's Time To Have A Serious Conversation About Your Relationship

Most people have that one day they will always remember: their first kiss, their wedding day, the birth of their first child. For me, it is the day I asked my husband for a divorce after four years of marriage.

If I could pinpoint the moment that led to most of our problems, it would be the day I found out he had been unfaithful in our marriage. The cheating was not our ultimate demise, though — it was just the action that began our downward spiral and led to a series of red flags. These warning signs may not have always been clear, but they were always there.

In the beginning of my relationship, my husband and I made decisions together. But somewhere along the way, my voice lost significance and I felt like my opinion no longer held any value. After not being heard for long enough, I didn’t feel the need to listen to my husband either.

My husband and I always made our sex life a priority, but after a while, I became emotionally disconnected from it. We were still having sex, but I didn't feel connected to him.

After waiting years for my relationship to change, I began to get irritated by the things I would normally brush off. I felt like I was stuck in a constant bubble of annoyance and everything my husband did was another strike against him. Looking back, I know that the issue was me, not him. His behaviors, no matter how well-meaning, triggered the pain and frustration I had been harboring all along.

My husband and I would constantly fight about his lack of thoughtfulness. All I wanted was a little extra attention to make me feel appreciated as a woman and a wife, but it got to the point where it was just easier to walk away than rehash the same dead-end conversation.

When you start to feel like you're no longer in control of your relationship, you obsess over the things you can control. For me, these included my home and my body. Though the last years of my marriage, my house was spotless and I was in the best shape of my life, but deep down I was miserable.

At the end of my marriage, I worked more than I ever had before. After work, I would always plan to get drinks with co-workers or spend countless hours in the gym. I spent my weekends hanging out with girlfriends. Spending time with my partner no longer excited me, so I started filling my calendar with activities outside the house.

It's important to have independence in a relationship, but isolation is not independence. You cannot work through your issues when you don’t spend any time together.

If you are having trouble successfully communicating your concerns about any of the six aforementioned red flags, I would advise you seek the help of a relationship counselor or life coach. Don’t allow any more time for these things to tear you and your partner apart.