The Only 10 Things Standing Between You & The Life Of Your Dreams

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I used to be consumed with fear that I wasn't enough. Fear was like a negative friend who was always there to tell me the million reasons I couldn't be, do, or have something I desired. It would show up when things were going right to remind me of all the things I had done wrong. As I grew older, the fear became louder and louder, but I became smarter and smarter.

If your thoughts are not coming from a place of love, they are coming from a place of fear.

Recently, I realized that fear was just an illusion I used to keep myself from pain, and it was something I could control from within. I stopped blaming it on the outside world and started working to change my perceptions by studying the complexities of the subconscious brain.

I learned that most of the thoughts we have on a daily basis come from this subconscious mind. It's basically a tape recorder loaded with behaviors and beliefs that we formed during childhood. Just like those old VHS tapes, the mind can only be changed if it's taped over with new, positive material.

Here are 10 steps to help you erase your fears and shift into a miracle mindset:

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1. Understand what fear is and how it appears in your life.

Fear is an illusion created by your own mind to protect you from pain. If your thoughts are not coming from a place of love, they are coming from a place of fear. Start to write down all of the things you tell yourself on a daily basis that are coming from a place of fear.

2. Practice positive affirmations.

Once you write down all of your recurring negative thoughts, rewrite them in a positive way. For example, if you constantly say, “I’m not smart enough," create a powerful affirmation like, “I am a genius and bring great value to the world." Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say these affirmations aloud. Over time, this daily practice will help you approach the world with a more positive, abundant mindset.

3. Be willing to see things differently.

If you've always believed that you will never live a happy life, open your mind to the possibility of happiness coming to you. Like Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Change your perspective by repeating this mantra from Gabrielle Bernstein's May Cause Miracles: “I am willing to see this differently; I am willing to see love instead of this.” It's the perfect affirmation to help you shift the way you take in the world — set it as your phone background or write it out on sticky notes and place them around the house as a reminder.

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4. Allow yourself to feel everything.

Instead of burying your fears away and watching them hold you back, allow yourself to truly feel the fear so that it can release itself from your body. Any time you feel fearful or uncomfortable, peacefully sit in silence for two to three minutes, inhaling and exhaling, allowing each concern to come into your mind. Feel it and imagine it leaving your body with each breath. At the conclusion of this short-but-powerful meditative session, put on some relaxing music or grab a pen and journal the experience to celebrate the release of your fears.

5. Rationally analyze your fear.

Fear can be a good thing if it protects you from physical harm. However, we often fear emotions, not actions. These emotions, although intense and unpredictable, cannot harm you. Ask yourself if your fear is rational or just emotional. Thank your irrational fears for trying to protect you from feelings of powerlessness, then lovingly ask them to go away.

Talking about a fear takes away some of its power.

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6. Put yourself first.

The more you take care of yourself by exercising, eating right, and practicing self-love, the more confidence you'll have in your ability to beat fear. Be sure to schedule non-negotiable time for yourself every single day — even if it's just a few minutes. Get creative and brainstorm a list of 10 self-care options that would lighten up your days and leave you feeling fearless. Self-care rituals like meditation, exercise, Epsom salt baths, and morning yoga work great for me.

7. Gradually pursue the things that scare you.

Start small. Take baby steps. If your dream is to speak in front of a large crowd but the thought overwhelms you, start by speaking alone in a room or to a small group of friends. Once you take the first steps, the rest becomes natural.

8. Use meditation and prayer to drown negative thoughts.

Meditation is a powerful tool, and it can be done anywhere, at any time. Research the many types of meditation and find one that works for you. Set aside five minutes for conscious breathing the next time negative thoughts overcome your mind.

9. Go public about your fear.

Talking about a fear takes away some of its power. When you speak up about something, you are in control. True strength lies in your ability to be vulnerable. Once you vocalize your fears to others, you become strong and more capable of protecting yourself with love.

10. Remember: If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life.

Begin rewriting the story of your life. You can control your thoughts and you are in control of your destiny. Create vision boards and really start believing that you deserve to be happy in all areas of your life. I promise you will be.

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For more tips on how to live fearlessly, check out my Straight Up Fearless challenges.

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