10 Signs You're Dating Someone Who Isn't Emotionally Intelligent

Emotional intelligence is integral to a healthy relationship. Having the capacity to understand, manage and verbally express feelings with your partner is invaluable. The good news is these skills can certainly be learned, but if the person you're with has no interest in gaining emotional intelligence, it may be time to hit the road.

Here are 10 signs your partner isn’t emotionally intelligent enough for you:

1. They know no other feeling words besides “good.”

2. They invalidate your experience — if you seem upset, they say something like, “Be positive,” “don’t cry,” or “it’s not that big of a deal.”

3. They seem uncomfortable around “I feel” conversations.

4. Every second of their time is filled with doing.

5. They seem to have no capacity for empathy.

6. They make generalizing statements about races, genders and religious groups.

7. They have a hard time being alone.

8. They have a hard time expressing how they feel about you and your relationship.

9. They have a history of risky or impulsive behavior (cheating, gambling large amounts of money, illicit drugs, etc.).

10. They have a volatile relationship with drugs or alcohol, and are unwilling to admit that it's a problem.

Low emotional intelligence is a product of our “feeling-shaming” culture.

If this totally describes the person you’re dating, don’t write them off just yet. Low emotional intelligence is a product of our “feeling-shaming” culture.

Many of us, particularly boys and men, are socialized not to express (let alone acknowledge) emotions. They learn to suppress and avoid the feelings that they judge themselves for having — things like depression, anxiety and rejection.

If your partner acknowledges that they need to develop more emotional intelligence, and they're willing to use approaches like therapy, meditation and journaling to do so, your relationship will definitely benefit.

For more tips on how to land the partner you've been looking for (even in today's feeling-shaming culture), check out my new course, How To Find True Love In A World Of Tinder & Texting.

And are you ready to learn more about how to unlock the power of food to heal your body, prevent disease & achieve optimal health? Register now for our FREE Functional Nutrition Webinar with Kelly LeVeque.

Megan Bruneau

Psychotherapist & Executive Coach
Megan Bruneau, M.A. RCC is a psychotherapist, wellness expert, blogger, and lover of sport and satire. After a destructive relationship with perfectionism and disordered eating caused her umpteenth overexercise-induced injury, she (reluctantly) found yoga — and discovered self-compassion. Megan soon realized why Buddhism has sustained for thousands of years, and she now brings the philosophy into the counseling room to help her clients change their relationship to their struggles and to themselves. Megan currently lives in New York City. If you're interested in working with her either in person or remotely, please email her at megan.bruneau@gmail.com. Read more from Megan at www.meganbruneau.com, and follow her on Instagram for nuggets of therapy wisdom.
View the class
Megan Bruneau

Related Posts

Popular Stories

Sites We Love

Functional Nutrition Webinar

Food is Medicine

Food has the power to create a happier and healthier world. Celebrity Nutritionist Kelly LeVeque will show you how.

Get Free Access Now Loading next article...
Sign up for mbg's FREE Functional Nutrition Webinar

Your article and new folder have been saved!