I’ve knowingly embarked on relationships riddled with red flags more times than I care to admit. In retrospect, I always ask myself the same question: How could I have let it get so bad? As the founder of a dating site for people who take care of their minds, bodies, and spirits, I’ve dedicated my life to helping others find love through a mindful approach. Shouldn’t I know better?
So, after much soul-searching, last year I finally committed to only starting a relationship in which I felt confident both people were open to and capable of creating an open-hearted, conscious dynamic. Then I waited. I waited for more than a year.
I focused on myself. I focused on my business. I nurtured my friendships. I told myself that when someone special came along, his presence in my life would be additive, rather than competitive with my other priorities.
I got really clear. I let the universe know that I was open to a constructive relationship, and I committed daily to not being distracted by anyone or anything that did not serve this purpose. I didn't give up. And then, one day, I met Joe.
From the moment we started dating, it felt different. And I knew that was because both of us were approaching the relationship the same way. It felt additive, equal, deep, vulnerable, and accepting. From the beginning, our choices were made with the intention of leading somewhere. It quickly dawned on me that this could be the kind of relationship I’d been waiting for.
With that in mind, we both worked even harder to create a conscious relationship. Here’s what worked for us: