As class started, I felt at ease, and as I looked around at the room I felt my heart soften for the first time since I had received the news. We all showed up to the practice for one reason or another and I felt the unity of the practice takeover. The students didn't annoy me one bit; they helped me work through my experience. I was supported by their big breath and energy.
I felt much lighter after teaching. Sure, I was still really sad, but I wasn't angry at my body or at the "healthy ones" as I had been before class. My body wasn't ready, but that didn't mean it never would be.
My point? Yoga teachers are real. I feel joy and pain. I run out of gas, get frustrated with my boyfriend, and overindulge. I can't do every arm balance under the sun — I fall, too! I think there's this false impression that yoga teachers are perfect, but we're not. I am on the same beautiful roller coaster of life that my students are.
So give yourself a break. Give your yoga (or other fitness) teachers a break. We all experience dark days, bad hair days, and hangover ("I am going to throw up on you." No, really) days.
We also all experience light days, joyful days, and healthful days. So feel your emotions and allow them to feel you. It’s through the awareness of these emotions — with no judgment, mind you — that we are able to live beautiful, bountiful lives! Let this practice help us to remember why we’re alive, no matter what’s going on around us.