During my twenties, I developed a dangerous relationship with cocaine. Thursday to Sunday every week, it was all about getting together with a group of fast-living London friends and getting high.
Sometimes it was all-night house parties, sometimes it was at bars, and sometimes it was just when we were "staying in" with a bottle of wine. Besides cocaine, I was also abusing alcohol, drinking to excess every time I had the chance. It was almost as though I had no off-switch at times. It was the only way I knew how to take the edge off a comedown from the drugs.
I partied hard to numb my boredom and frustration, as well as the physical pain from my scoliosis, which I'd had since I was a teenager. I had no knowledge of how to manage the daily searing pain in my neck and spine, and so I was largely ignoring the condition.
I hated the way it made me feel: weak, less able-bodied, unable to move freely at times, and constantly tired and trapped inside a body I had little love for.