Ask most people what qualities they desire in a partner and you will be amazed at the dust-inducing speed with which some of us can come up with a list detailing the minutest “requirements” our ideal partner must meet.
Have you been guilty of dismissing or writing off a potential partner because he failed to meet all the requirements on your list in spite of the fact that you enjoyed spending time with him, experienced a wonderful connection with him, or found him to be a great match for you in many ways?
There is a difference between being choosy and not being able to recognize great things when they are placed before you. Human beings have a tendency to always want to hold out for bigger or better things; we naively try to convince ourselves that the grass is greener on the other side.
But we don't always take into consideration that we are responsible for the lives we create for ourselves and the partners we attract into them.
To attract the kind of partner we desire, we have to become the kind of person we desire. The one you are looking for is also searching for that special person. Are you her “one” or do you run the risk of being dismissed as unsuitable? We have to become the kind of person who can sustain the kind of relationship we desire on all levels before we can draw it to ourselves.
Most of us frown upon singlehood instead of celebrating it. But being single probably just signifies that we aren’t ready to attract a healthy relationship and need to spend that period of our lives developing so we can better receive that special person when she does arrive. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
If you are a woman searching for a financially secure and stable man, you have to figure out if you are financially responsible yourself. Do you manage your own finances well, or are you looking for a man to pay your way through life?
For all you men who claim that you want a godly wife, what is your own relationship with God like? If you aren’t spiritual yourself, or at least growing in your faith, chances are you will most likely stunt your wife’s spiritual growth.
If you are single, use the waiting period to do these kinds of self-examinations and determine what version of yourself you need to become to attract your most ideal mate. Then, spend that time trying to become that person.
Don’t get hung up on the fact that you don’t have someone special in your life. Instead, let the anticipation and expectation of your future relationship keep you motivated on your journey to becoming your best self.
Become whole and fulfilled on your own so that you have something healthy to bring to the table when you begin your new relationship.
They say that love finds you when you least expect it and are busy enjoying your life. Don’t give up on your hopes and dreams during your waiting period; use it to chase after them with gusto and determination. It's easier to focus and prioritize when we don’t have the distractions of others diverting our attention.
Be patient with the process and don’t allow doubts and fears to lead you in the wrong direction. It is extremely easy to make rash choices when we allow desperation, anxieties, and insecurities to take over. Decide for yourself that you will trust the process and will be able to recognize that special person when you finally do meet him.
In the meantime, stay open, remain hopeful, and work on becoming the one!
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