Shake It Off, Shake It Off: How To ACTUALLY Deal With Your Critics
Imagine this: You’re super-excited because you have a new business idea, or you finally quit your job to pursue something more satisfying. You call up one of your friends to share your excitement, and in return you get a million reasons why it's a terrible idea.
I used to feel defeated when someone didn’t share my excitement and fully support my goals or decisions. It led me to question my abilities and sometimes lose hope in my dreams.
Then one day, I recognized the beautiful gifts that naysayers and doubters have for me, and came up with responses that helped me stay confident in my decisions and silence the skeptics.
1. "Thank you for your feedback."
So, you've left your office job for a career helping others. You tell your partner and he begins naysaying: “What if it doesn’t work? That’s not a real job! You’re not going to make enough money!”
You may feel a need to defend your decision, but instead of trying to convince him that everything is going to be all right, I invite you to ask yourself if any part of you has the same doubts and questions. Allow your partner’s doubts to guide you inward to the parts of you that are terrified and need support.
Tell your partner, “Thank you for your feedback. It’s reflecting back parts of me that have the same fears. I work to reassure those parts of me as I continue to take inspired action. This is important to me. Are you willing to work on the parts of you that feel scared by my decision?”
Remember, your external world is a mirror of your internal world. Experiment with gratitude for others whose doubts serve as a mirror to reflect the reservations about your next steps.
2. "You're right: I am crazy."
Imagine you want to buy an expensive new car. You share this information with a family member and she tells you that you’re crazy for spending so much money.
Instead of trying to convince her that you’re not crazy, I invite you to find the gifts of your craziness and say this:
“You're right: I am crazy! I love my craziness because if I didn't have it, I would have never experienced [insert a past experience that you had that seemed crazy but ended up being amazing].”
Naysayers remind us that it's an asset to dream big, to take risks, and to live life to the fullest. In the past, you may have been told that risky decisions are unreasonable or even bad. Your doubter is giving you the perfect opportunity to investigate this idea that “cautious” is always best. Check in and see if the experience of taking this new risk outweighs the learned benefits of living a more cautious life.
3. "Anything is possible."
Imagine you feel the call to travel around the world. You tell a colleague and all she can think of is the disease and crime in other countries.
Instead of trying to convince her that you’re going to be all right, I invite you to say:
“Sure, I might get sick or hurt traveling. I might also have an incredible, life-changing experience. Both are just stories about a future that doesn’t exist yet. I’m willing to take care of myself if either of those situations manifest, because the pain of not following my heart outweighs the fear of pain in the future.”
Naysayers give us an opportunity to remember that the future doesn’t exist right now. It's pure potential. When you remember that, it grounds you in the present moment and lets you listen to what your heart is telling you.
With these three spiritual comebacks, next time you encounter a naysayer or someone who is unsupportive of your work or decisions, you don't have to react, defend, or convince. You can allow yourself to see the gifts of your doubters and by doing so, develop your intuition and power to bring about the outcome you want.
If you’re ready to follow your dreams and co-create your circumstances in the face of any limits, fears, or doubts, I invite you to join me for a free training on clearing blocks and manifesting the life you desire.
Ready to learn more about what anxiety, brain health, and your diet all have in common? Register now for our FREE Functional Nutrition Webinar with Dr. Mark Hyman.