Ayurveda is the art of living in harmony with nature. Dating back to India more than 5,000 years ago, it's considered the “sister science” with yoga and meditation. When pursued together, these practices help us reach our full potential in body, mind, and spirit.
In Ayurveda, sex is considered an essential part of life. It's as important to our relationships as food or sleep is to us individually. In Ayurveda, sex is not merely a physical act — it's the union of two bodies, minds, and souls. It's meant as a loving expression between two willing, monogamous adults.
To help make sex a fulfilling and spiritual experience, here are five tips Ayurveda recommends:
1. Choose the right time of day.
According to Ayurveda, the ideal time for sex is between 10 and 11 p.m. This is a time period when we tend to be more relaxed and can give our partner the undivided attention that he or she deserves. At this time of night, usually at least two hours after eating, food has been thoroughly digested and sleep can come directly after.
2. Don't "misuse" sex.
Ayurveda explains that when sex is satisfying, and practiced over time with one partner, it not only benefits the relationship but also helps the two individuals to stay healthy and vital.
“Unsatisfying” sex, or sex that makes one of the individuals uncomfortable, can have negative effects on both mental and physical health. Ayurveda strictly prohibits “misuse” of sex in any way because it opens up a storm of emotional and psychological issues.
Examples of misuse would be having sex when you're angry, having sex with someone you don’t love, or having sex when either person isn't feeling well or doesn’t want to participate.
3. Know your partner’s dosha.
In Ayurveda there are three types, or doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. The frequency and type of sex depends on the constitution of each individual. Each has its own qualities, strengths, and challenges. Knowing your own, as well as your partner's, can help strengthen your sex life. (You can learn more about finding out your type here.)
Kapha types, dominant in the earth and water elements, possess more stamina than others. They indulge in sex less frequently but for longer periods of time. In other words: quality over quantity.
Pitta types, dominant in the fire and water elements, are very passionate people. They like intense sex, and it can be difficult to quench their desire.
Vata types, dominant in the elements of air and space, are inconsistent with their desire. They prefer to mix things up rather than stick to a routine. They like change, as well as happy surprises.
4. Engage the five senses during sex.
The environment, food, music, and lighting all play important parts in developing intimacy, closeness, and comfort. Take time to set the stage, and be mindful of your surroundings and senses.
Kapha types are particularly sensitive to taste and smell, so keep this in mind when you want to get your Kapha going. It’s all about the tongue, and the nose. A wonderful meal, scented candles, or some aromatherapy help to win over a Kapha partner.
Pittas respond most to visual stimulation. Make sure they like what they see. Set the stage with soft lighting, beautiful flowers, or a sexy ensemble.
Vatas respond most to touch and sound. They love to hear sweet words whispered, and feel warm hands on their skin. A warm oily massage and some soft music help get them to focus on the task at hand.
5. Pay attention to the seasons.
Each season has its own type. It's important to know how the qualities of each relate to your sex life.
Kapha time is in the spring. It’s a very flirty, loving, and romantic season.
Pitta time is during the hot months of summer. It's common for people to feel a bit more passionate, or “hot,” when the weather heats up.
Vata season is the cool and dry months of fall and winter. It’s a good time to cuddle, as we need more “warm-up” time to get in the mood.