I tried different things like calling off my engagement, changing jobs, and starting therapy, but nothing worked. Then, yoga taught me the tools to discover what it was that I longed for deep within myself. My yoga teacher training helped me develop an awareness of myself that I had no clue even existed. It was like I was being introduced to myself for the first time. Through exercises like meditation and self-reflection, I began to recognize my negative thought patterns and think more positively.
A large part of yoga is choosing happiness. It helped me choose to no longer rely on others in order to feel good. I'm responsible for myself, and I can decide who and what kind of person I want to be. I have found true happiness because of it.
I can now write and admit to the world my imperfections, regardless of possible judgments and rejections. I can teach a yoga class and open my heart up to connect with my students. I can love and accept my mother for what love she is capable of giving.
But I'm not perfect. I still find myself judging others in my mind, comparing my yoga practice to theirs. When those negative thoughts bubble up, I try to understand them. They usually have something to do with my own insecurities or fears, though it can sometimes take seconds, minutes, or even days to realize that.