Sometimes you experience failed expectations as heartbreak and disappointment, and sometimes you feel rage. Failure, or things not working out as you’d hoped, doesn’t feel good; that’s for sure.
But maybe instead of labeling yourself a “failure” or a “loser,” or thinking there is something wrong with you, you could get curious about what is going on.
Getting curious about outer circumstances and how they impact you, and noticing what words come out and what your internal discussion is — this is the key. If there is a lot of “I am bad; I am terrible,” notice that and maybe soften up a bit. Instead say, “What am I feeling here? Maybe what is happening here is not that I am a failure — I am just hurting. I am just hurting.”
If you want to be a full, complete human being — if you want to be genuine and hold the fullness of life in your heart — then this is the opportunity for you to get curious about what is going on and listen to the storylines. And don’t buy the storylines that blame it on everybody else. And don’t buy the storylines that blame it on yourself, either.