In ancient cultures, the pleasure and consciousness-altering effects of orgasm were venerated. The word orgasm comes from the Greek orgasmos ("to grow ripe") and orge ("impulse"), and the Sanskrit urj ("power, nourishment, and strength").
These days, science drives the understanding and exploration of this fundamental human experience, with mixed results. As we become more civilized, sex and orgasm are increasingly regulated. On the bright side, the abundance of research has provided new information that expands our understanding of orgasmic possibilities.
When we have an orgasm, we transcend into an ecstatic experience that shakes us to the roots of our being. Self-consciousness and insecurity melt away. We are naked on every level. Our ego, our relationship to society and culture cease to be, and we are at one with nature. There is no past or future. There is only the present moment.
For that moment, we connect with something transcendent. And the more fully we give ourselves up to the sensation, the more deeply we experience creation, manifestation, healing, release, regeneration, understanding, connection, and consciousness. We become part of infinite possibility, and we cease to be limited by what we know. Our minds empty, and worry becomes impossible.
How much better off would we be if we could tap into that sense of freedom and connection every day, both in bed and out? Well, we can. Here's how:
1. Release control.
Surrender to your impulses without inhibitions. Give yourself permission to let go, lose yourself in the moment, and trust your partner will do the same. Relinquish the need for control. Surrendering to arousal is essential to experiencing true sexual ecstasy.
Indulging in your body, as well as your partner's body, allows you to fully embrace your sexuality and sensuality. This will help you realize that you are the source of your orgasm, not your partner.
3. Challenge resistance.
Look at your internal resistance as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Challenge your beliefs and question familiar patterns. In the Zen tradition, to empty your cup means to make room for new information in the spirit of curiosity and innocence. Unlearning old habits takes time, so be patient.
You already have what it takes to create joy and pleasure in your life.
For more on getting what you want out of sex (and life), start here: