Getting to know your clitoris and its power is a great place to start. Here's how to meet and greet your clit and share your "findings" with your partner:
1. Begin by getting curious and exploring your clit. (And stop faking orgasms!)
Karen wasn't really sure where her clitoris was and never had an orgasm during sex with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend consistently complained she was taking too long to come, so Karen frequently wound up faking her climaxes as a result. Karen was really in a bind, as she wasn't fulfilled sexually but was also not feeling supported in her relationship.
So what did Karen do? First, she broke up with her boyfriend. Then, she began a practice of trying to become more aware of what pleased her sexually. She wouldn't just masturbate passively, but she actively explored what aroused her when she stimulated herself. This exploration opened the way for a more satisfying relationship in the future where she finally found true gratification.
Memo to all women: don't fake orgasms It leaves you out in the cold and always backfires. Learn what you like through self-touch and be your own best teacher. Then you can pass it on to your partner.
2. Know that you deserve to come, and that there's no "right answer."
For years and years, women have been sold the notion by pop culture that "real women" achieve orgasms exclusively through intercourse. Movies, TV shows and porn films will show a woman writhing in an explosive orgasm after a few mere thrusts from a man.
Although some women can learn to come through intercourse (more later), any manner or method that provides arousal is valid and wonderful. For many women, the clitoris is their go-to spot for pleasure. Realizing and accepting that Mother Nature provided you with a clitoris for your enjoyment will hopefully help you accept the gift of gratification without shame.
3. Communicate what your needs and desires are.
Straight women often refer to a given man as a "bad lover," when they usually mean to communicate "he never heard of a clitoris and certainly didn't pay any attention to mine."
Straight men, in fact, usually fall into two categories: (1) those who don't care about your needs and (2) those who simply don't know how women work. Get rid of man #1 if he is only selfishly interested in his own satisfaction. But it's up to you to communicate to man #2 what you like and where/how you like it.