When I had fallen in love in the past, a few months would pass and I would find myself 10 pounds heavier. It was as predictable for me as the infamous freshman fifteen.
When I met my now-fiancé, I was finally able to break the pattern and it’s a big reason we're still together, six years later. We didn’t last because my body stayed intact. We lasted because my confidence grew.
Here are the four key mindset changes that broke the pattern for me:
1. I admitted that intimacy is scary.
Let’s face it, intense love is as terrifying as it is blissful. When we are truly in love, our hearts feel like they are on the line. If that person changes their mind or deceives us in some way, we know it’s going to hurt. So, while new love brings intense bliss, there’s underlying anxiety as well from the fear of being hurt. My old pattern was to use food to calm those nerves. I was self-sabotaging without even realizing I was doing it.
I broke the pattern by facing my fears straight on and continually reminding myself that I would be OK no matter what.
2. I remembered to put the fork down.
Sharing food is one of the best parts of being in love. Sitting across the table from my significant other, I feel warm, fuzzy and carefree. I find it incredibly difficult to exercise any control around portions when I’m that happy.
However, my fiancé is 60 pounds heavier and a foot taller than me. He can eat a lot more in a day than I can. With guys in the past, I would forget this and go toe-to-toe with them on the takeout order. I thought that if I put restraint on my eating, I would feel tense and ruin the moment.
With my fiancé, I simply put the fork down a bit sooner than he does. Rather than lamenting I can't indulge as much as him, I focus instead on enjoying the fact that my food boundaries allowed me to spend the rest of the evening feeling light and regret free.
3. I allowed radiance to reign.
One of the most incredible things about new love is how radiant it makes us feel. In the past, I would take this for granted and ignore how great I was feeling.
With my fiancé, I truly appreciated the moment and I let radiance reign. I intentionally allowed myself to get lost in beauty and goodness and all that made me feel vibrantly alive. I used sweaty workouts and wholesome foods to uplift me even more. The high vibration nature of optimal health matched the high-vibration nature of my wide-open heart and it was a truly magical time.
4. We started exercising together.
From the very beginning, we established patterns of working out together. Now it’s one of our favorite activities as a couple. It’s a buddy system. We keep each other accountable. Knowing we are in it together makes it a lot more fun. And, we both feel great after and get to cash in on that great feeling for the rest of our day.
The best part of breaking the happy-pound pattern is that each mindset change contributes to me feeling good. For me, feeling good about myself and my life helps my relationship thrive.
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