When it comes to developing our "sex muscles," most of us are missing one important trick. I’m referring to the powerful little exercise that can actually help you to enjoy more intense sensations, stronger orgasms, and even more connected, heartfelt sex with your lover.
As you’re no doubt aware, sex can vary quite dramatically in intensity from one experience to the next. And you’ve probably also discovered, there’s a big difference between your average "quick-fix," localized genital orgasm, and those much more rare, "full-body" orgasmic experiences you (might) have once in a while.
There’s a simple way to ensure you have more of those spine-tingling, toe-curling, out-of-body climaxes. It’s a practice often used by Tantra enthusiasts; but if you're not into that sort of thing, don’t let that deter you! While some aspects of Tantra can take time, effort and discipline to master, this is one really quick, simple technique that can be done anywhere, by anyone — and it can make a dramatic difference to your sex life.
So what is this mysterious practice? I call it the perineal squeeze technique — and quite simply, it involves flexing your PC or pubococcygeus, also known as the kegel.
Most of us do a pretty good job of ignoring our pelvic floors most of the time. Yet I encourage everyone to think of the pelvis as the "cradle" for our sexual organs; pelvic strength is essential, and serves more than one important function. The perineum supports and helps regulate our sex organs (as well as the bladder and bowel). From a purely physical perspective, strengthening these muscles can work wonders for bladder and prostate health, erection strength, and muscular control of the vaginal wall.
Even more intriguingly, the perineum is also responsible for generating much of our sexual energy, or "life-force." I’m talking about that distinct flutter or tingle we sometimes feel in our loins, as our senses awaken and our arousal increases. It all starts from the pelvic region; the stronger you make your pelvic floor, the longer, deeper and more intense your climax can be.
Engage your perineum more often and you’ll increase its ability to generate sexual sensations. By practicing these squeezes, you’re opening up the energetic pathways in your body, and at the same time pushing energy through those pathways, to circulate it more freely throughout the body.
So now you know why to do it, here’s how to do it:
Begin lying down, to relieve the weight of your internal organs and gravity, then close off and draw up the muscles in your pelvis (as if you're stopping yourself from peeing). As you do this, you may also feel the muscles in your rectum closing off, but focus your attention mainly on the pelvic muscles (further forward) to begin with.
Draw up the entire area strongly and hold the squeeze for 5-10 seconds. Keep breathing while you do this! Then fully relax, let go and rest for a few moments. Repeat 5-10 times in a row.
Next, do 10 short, fast, strong contractions in a row, breathing all the while, and remembering to relax and rest again afterwards.
Next, focus more specifically on the rear pelvic floor muscles around the anus, tightening and drawing them up as though you're preventing an inopportune passage of air! Hold for 5-10 seconds and then relax again.
Finally, do 10 short, fast and strong contractions focusing again on the rear pelvic muscles, breathing all the while, and remembering to relax again afterwards.
Aim to do at least two or three rounds of this "flexing" routine daily (and more than once a day if you can manage it). From lying down, you can progress to standing exercises, training your PC muscles in their slightly more difficult position.
The beauty of this practice is that it can be done anywhere, without anyone even realizing what you’re up to. Whether you’re driving to work or brushing your teeth, incorporate the perineal squeeze technique into your daily routine and it’ll soon become second nature.
Many of us go through our entire lives unaware of the amazing power-reserve inside our pelvises. But if you develop a greater awareness of this invaluable little group of muscles, you’ll not only enjoy the physical benefits, but will also boost your orgasmic potential, and create a more sensation-rich sex-life for yourself in the process!
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